


A Blast from the Past

by scorpion22



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Affairs, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Flashbacks, Friendship/Love, Multi, Mutual Pining, high school sweethearts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-05-12 23:47:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5686300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpion22/pseuds/scorpion22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After years of separation a blast from Edward Nygma's past comes back into his life. The problem is she's marrying another man. Will Ed be able to just be friends with her, or will the passion they shared be reignited.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Reappearance

Edward’s POV…

It was supposed to be just any other day. That’s what I thought when I arrived at the GCPD that day, but it turned out to be far from normal. Today of all days would be the day someone from my past would reappear out of thin air. And then every day after that would be so different from what my life had come to be. The normal I had been living would never be considered normal again.   
“Normal is relative,” whispered that voice in my head as I walked through the GCPD. It never stopped talking to me. It whispered things to me as if giving me advice I needed before I knew I needed it. And now it did the same thing with those three simple words. At the time I didn’t know what that was supposed to mean, but as days passed I quickly learned. On that day my life changed. It changed because she walked back into it and in the normal I had been living I was never supposed to see her again. After all she had made sure of that when she ran off without giving me a second glance. Things around the GCPD had been increasingly tightly wound since the appearance of our new Captain, Nathanial Barnes.   
He was a very strict man who was trying to change Gotham for the better though I wasn’t sure if he’d actually succeed. Gotham was a city of madness, of danger, and of sweet darkness. The thought that someone could change it so easily seemed laughable, but part of me respected him for trying at all. On that day though I learned so much about Nathanial Barnes. I learned that despite our differences we had one thing in common; we had both fallen in love with the same girl.  
“Pretty lady,” commented one of the detectives instantly catching my attention making my eyes look up to the woman making her way into the precinct. And when I saw who that pretty lady was I couldn’t believe it. I thought maybe I was dreaming, or even seeing things, but I wasn’t. It was her, the girl I never imagined seeing again; the girl who had been mine. Every eye was on her raking their eyes over her like a piece of prime rib. Seeing them look at her like that made me want to rip their throats out, she was worth more than that. But I ignored them watching her with them looking at all of her, remembering all of her. She still looked just the same, she hadn’t changed not one bit; she was still beautiful in every way a woman could be beautiful. She moved through the precinct blushing when she realized that everyone was staring at her and as she moved I realized where she was going. She was headed right for Captain Barnes office. Captain Barnes exited his office right at that moment and when he saw her he smiled.   
“That is some girl huh Cap, “exclaimed Harvey leaning back in his desk chair.   
“I’m aware of that Bullock, that girl is my fiancé,” snapped Captain Barnes pulling his eyes away from her to glare at the detective. I didn’t miss the look Jim and Harvey shared as Barnes looked at her once more. I couldn’t believe his words when I heard them; she was really going to marry him. As I stood not too far from the three men I suddenly looked anywhere, but at her. And again I just couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it was her, Rosalie Carter, the girl that shared a very important place in the history of my life. The girl who because of that would always have a special place in my heart.   
“Hi baby,” smiled Rosalie kissing Captain Barnes chastely on the lips his arm slinking around her waist as she did so.   
“Hay sweetheart, come here I want you to meet a few of my detectives,” whispered Captain Barnes moving her forward.   
“It’s her, it’s Rosie,” whispered the voice in my head as I hid in the shadows. I ignored that voice though and I just watched her. She was beautiful, absolutely undeniably beautiful, and once she had been mine. Now though she was his and even though I knew I shouldn’t I hated that. Rosalie Carter always had been beautiful even when I knew her back in our high school days. Back in those days so long ago. She had the most vibrant red hair I’d ever seen, eyes like brown pools of mud that I used to love playing in, skin like sweet melted white chocolate that always smelled of cherry blossoms, and the most memorable thing of all her laugh a joyful sound that I could never forget.   
Finally I remembered myself and I knew I couldn’t let her see me. I didn’t know how she would react to seeing me again so I tried to slink away as quietly as possible, but before I could I heard the Captain’s voice behind me. I stood stock still hoping maybe I was mistaken, hoping he wouldn’t call me over; I couldn’t see her. Not now, not ever. After everything that had happened years ago I knew I was the last person she would ever want to see, but when the Captain called me again I knew I would have to see her. And as happy as that made me, I hated making her unhappy with my presence.   
“Ed, come over here. There’s someone I want you to meet,” yelled Captain Barnes and turning I walked up the stairs into her view.   
“Rosalie, sweetie, this is one of our forensic guys, Mr. Edward…” introduced Captain Barnes before suddenly she interrupted him. Much to my surprise, she didn’t look shocked, or upset Rosalie actually looked happy to see me.   
“Edward Nygma,” exclaimed Rosalie a huge smile covering her face. I couldn’t believe it she was really happy to see me. All was silent then as we merely looked at each other as the Captain and the detectives stared on in amazement.   
“You two know each other, sweetie,” smiled Captain Barnes though I knew it was forced by the way he was looking at me.   
“Yes we do me and this guy go way back. We went to high school together. Eddie and I were very close friends before I left Gotham,” exclaimed Rosalie looking at him for only a second before returning her gaze to me that smile still on her face. And then much to all our surprise she stepped towards me. Before I knew what was happening she had her arms wrapped around me.   
“I’ve missed you Eddie,” whispered Rosalie in my ear as she hugged me waiting for me to reciprocate. I looked at Captain Barnes from over her head asking for permission to do so and when he nodded I slowly wrapped my arms around her. It felt so good to feel her there again.   
“I’ve missed you too,” I breathed before she pulled away smiling even wider at me. And then Rosalie looked up at me with those eyes I could never resist.   
“Oh Eddie, it is so good to see you. How are you…I mean look at you working for the GCPD doing forensics that’s got to be cool huh,” exclaimed Rosalie smiling brightly at me as the captain returned to her side wrapping a possessive arm around her.   
“Yes very interesting. It’s good to see you too…it’s been so long. How have you been Rosie?” I stammered slightly noticing the look the captain gave me when I called her Rosie. Avoiding his stare, I thought about our time together long ago when I was her Eddie, and she was my Rosie. Those had been our names for each other, I never let anyone else call me Eddie, and I was the only one to ever call her Rosie. And now I couldn’t help, but wonder if that still rang true.   
“I’m good. I’m getting married to this one here. I’m also trying to open up my own business here in Gotham, but that’s proving harder than expected. But you know me Eddie; I never give up,” explained Rosalie patting Captain Barnes on the stomach at the mention of their marriage.   
“Yes I know…what kind of business?” I inquired smiling at her because I had a feeling I already knew the answer.   
“A bakery,” exclaimed Rosalie proving me right and as she smiled so big at the mention of her dream I couldn’t help, but do the same. She was still that girl I knew all those years ago, so bubbly, so sweet, so full of life, and so incredibly unbelievable I knew there was no one else like her in Gotham City. It was then that Captain Barnes cleared his throat making his presence known though to be honest I never really forgot.   
“Sweetie…um…did you bring my lunch,” whispered Captain Barnes drawing her mind back to the reason she had come to the precinct in the first place.   
“Oh sorry…yes I brought it huh here,” breathed Rosalie her bubbly persona fading once more before she smiled another tiny smile kissing his lips. And when she did it took every cell in my body to hide my jealousy. I had to remind myself that I had no right to be jealous; she wasn’t mine anymore. Now she was his.   
“Thank you,” smiled Captain Barnes making her persona return again as he wrapped his arms around her drawing her in close. When she looked at me again Rosalie looked embarrassed, but when I smiled her way she smiled right back.   
“I got to get going. It was so nice meeting you two gentlemen and Ed it was so nice seeing you again,” exclaimed Rosalie turning to shake the two detectives hands before turning that smile my way. But then that smile left me as she found herself in his arms again. I hated the way he was all over her. Quickly she kissed his lips before attempting to walk away, but he pulled her back into his arms just as quickly. When he was done shoving his tongue down her throat, Rosalie turned back in my direction; her face was as red as her fire red hair as she took my hand.   
“Walk me out, Eddie,” smiled Rosalie giving the captain a final wave before moving down the stairs to the exit pulling me right along behind her.   
“Don’t be afraid of Nathanial, Eddie. His bark is worse than his bite and besides I wouldn’t let him harm you,” laughed Rosalie seeing as I kept looking behind me at the captain as he watched our progress through the precinct. I tried to take what she said seriously, but despite it all he still scared me very much. Then all was silent around us as we came to a stop in the entranceway.   
There was so much I wanted to say to her, so many questions I wanted to ask, but only one of those questions actually left my mouth.   
“Listen, Rosie…would you have lunch with me tomorrow? We could catch up,” I stammered looking anywhere, but at her.   
“Eddie, look at me, please,” whispered Rosalie taking my chin in her hands making me look into those eyes I still loved.   
“I’ll meet you tomorrow. When I bring Nathanial his lunch we can get lunch,” smiled Rosalie making me smile as soon as I realized that her answer was yes. And she smiled even wider touching my cheek my heart beating fast just at the feel of her skin against mine. I wanted to kiss her then, but knowing that she wasn’t mine anymore I couldn’t. But then she surprised the hell out of me.   
Just before leaving the precinct Rosalie stood on tiptoe giving me a kiss on the cheek and a wave before leaving. When she had gone I walked back to my desk and now every eye was on me. I didn’t notice anyone though I kept replaying that simple kiss in my mind and placing a hand to my cheek I smiled the biggest smile of my life. In that moment I didn’t have a care in the world. I didn’t even care that Captain Barnes was staring at me with a death glare from his office door. Later that day as I was working in the lab I couldn’t focus. Rosalie Carter, her name went through my head over and over. She was all I could think about. And then that voice that I hated so much, the voice that never left me alone had to ruin it, and start pestering me again.   
“Rosalie Carter, Rosalie Carter, Rosalie Carter. You never thought you’d see her again. In fact if she hadn’t of left when she did you wouldn’t have to chase Ms. Kringle. You wouldn’t have to chase after a woman you don’t love who doesn’t love you. You would have a woman who truly loves you like Rosalie did,” laughed the voice making me stop all movement as I tried to tune the voice out. But it wouldn’t stop as it started saying her name again and again reminding me that she wasn’t mine anymore. Now she belonged to him.   
“Stop,” I yelled hitting the table I stood in front of my hands balled into tight fists.   
“Why I’m only speaking the truth. You know I am. Rosalie never ran from your advances the way Ms. Kringle does. She never laughed at you with her friends in fact if I’m not mistaken she was your friend. She even traded riddles with you. She was the love of your life and as much as you deny it she still is. Tell me does she still smell of cherry blossoms?” exclaimed the voice making me sign as I gripped the edge of the table. The voice was right, I knew it, but I didn’t want to admit it. And closing my eyes I remembered. I remembered that moment just before she left when she kissed my cheek how I had breathed her in.   
“Yes, she still smells of cherry blossoms,” I smiled wishing she was still mine as my eyes opened again. And smiling I remembered the first time I ever smelled cherry blossoms; it was still my favorite scent in the whole world.   
“You never thought you’d see her again,” breathed the voice.   
“No I didn’t. Fate has a way of bringing people together,” I smiled.   
“Do you think she’s going to tell her fiancé about you two? Just think about it, Captain Barnes will know just how close you were with his future wife,” laughed the voice making my eyes close once more as I remembered how things had been between Rosalie and me once upon a time.   
“It doesn’t matter that was a long time ago. He’ll understand that plus she already said she wouldn’t let him harm me,” I stammered my hands shaking as I thought of all the ways the captain could hurt me if she did in fact tell him.   
“Oh, but it does matter because you still love her. You’ve always loved her even as you’ve been chasing Ms. Kringle. Rosalie has always been in your heart because you still love her and now she’s marrying your boss,” laughed the voice making my anger flare as I pictured her kissing Captain Barnes.   
And again I knew that voice spoke the truth. I knew I would always love Rosalie and only Rosalie, but I couldn’t love her. She was marrying another man. Rosalie didn’t love me anymore, now I was just a friend just like when we first met, but I loved her. I wanted to be over her like she was over me, but I didn’t think I could do it. I would have to pine away for her for the rest of my life. I would have to watch her with another man for the rest of my life. I would never get over her. Not ever, she was my love, my girl. Since our sophomore year of high school I had loved her. I loved Rosalie Carter and I would only ever love Rosalie Carter. I wanted to stop, but I couldn’t. And it didn’t help that that voice wouldn’t shut up.   
“Shut up,” I exclaimed finally slamming my hands down on an examination table.   
“Are you ok, Ed,” said Dr. Thompkins appearing out of nowhere. I quickly turned in her direction giving her my signature smile.  
“Yes, fine. And how are you Dr. Thompkins,” I smiled clasping my hands in front of me as I approached her.   
“I’m…I’m fine, Ed,” smiled Dr. Thompkins looking a bit uneasy as I exited the room hurrying down the hall.   
The voice continued to talk to me all day. It took everything for me not to start screaming at it in front of everyone, but somehow I managed. I let other more important things occupy my mind. Things like the fact that I was having lunch with Rosalie Carter tomorrow. I was having lunch with the girl I loved, but I would have to pretend like I didn’t love her. I would have to try to just be her friend. And just thinking about that I was extremely nervous. The next day lunch time came much sooner than I expected. While part of me had been dreading it all day another part had been so excited about the prospect of having lunch with her. And as lunchtime approached I was still increasingly nervous. Long ago it had been so easy to talk to Rosalie, but would that still be the case now. Before where I could spend hours talking to her now I wasn’t so sure if we would have anything to talk about. I wanted it to be that way, if it could be that way again, but I really wanted it to be.   
“It’s time, go find Rosalie,” sang the voice in my head as the designated time came to have lunch with her. I was still nervous, but pushing that along with the voice away I left my desk neat as ever. I went to Captain Barnes office in search of Rosalie and like I suspected she was there with him. As expected she was there laughing with her fiancé and the detectives. And when she saw me, when she smiled at me it took everything for me to stop from grabbing her, and kissing her. But I couldn’t do that. Her lips weren’t mine to kiss anymore.  
“There you are, Eddie. I was beginning to think you were standing me up,” smiled Rosalie and I could feel each of their eyes going from her to me.   
“Where are you two going?” smiled Captain Barnes his smile once again forced as he looked me straight in the eye. It was quite clear from the tone of his voice that he was far from happy that I was going anywhere with his fiancé. And staring right back I was scared to death because I knew the only thing keeping me alive right now was Rosalie standing right next to him.   
“Oh baby I forgot to tell you, Eddie and I are having lunch together today,” exclaimed Rosalie kissing his cheek. Nothing more was said then as she left her fiancé’s side taking my hand instead. I smiled at her as she led me out of the precinct feeling all eyes on me as we moved.  
“I wouldn’t worry about it Cap, it’s Ed,” said Gordon looking after us before returning to his work. Captain Barnes only nodded before going back into his office. I let Rosalie lead me out into the street butterflies in my stomach as she hailed a cab. I was so nervous still, but at the same time I was ecstatic just to be by her side. I couldn’t help, but think as we got into the cab that I had really missed her. And again that I still really loved her.


	2. Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of Ed and Rosalie's lunch together.

Edward’s POV…

As we rode in the cab all was silent, I hadn’t heard the address she gave the driver, but that was the last thing on my mind. I was nervous; what would it be like to be in the same room with her having a conversation after so long? For as long as I could remember Rosalie could sense my every thought and now was no different. She looked at me in that moment her eyes still the kindest I had ever seen, it was like she could sniff out my nerves with those eyes, and when her silky fingers took my rough ones I looked into them. It was strange how they looked the same as when I used to gaze into them after a deep kiss and yet I could no longer share such a kiss with her. It felt strange to be so close and not be able to wrap my tender eyes over her as my arms held her. And it felt especially strange that I could stare at her like I was that I could think of her like I was, but still know nothing was the same anymore. She no longer loved me as I still loved her. It was the squeeze of her hand that brought me back from these thoughts.   
“Eddie, what’s wrong?” breathed Rosalie her voice low in a way I had only heard it a few other times before. I could remember times after our lips had parted when she would say my name in such a way. It was a way that always led to more kisses, to fiery touches beneath soft sheets, and to our hearts pounding in tandem. But I couldn’t think of that now. That was over, Rosie was once again just my friend; a friend who I was silently pining away for just like in high school.   
“I’m fine,” I lied giving her a smile, but she saw right through me.   
“No, you’re not; what’s wrong?” exclaimed Rosalie as the cab stopped outside our destination. All questions seemed to be forgotten then as I saw where she had brought us. It was a place I couldn’t remember being without her, a place I had stopped frequenting the second she disappeared from my life and I couldn’t help, but think as we exited the cab that it was all so surreal, being there with her again. So as she paid the cab I stared up at the slightly rust brown sign that read Oliver’s and I remembered. I remembered and as she took my hand again I felt her squeeze it tight telling me she did too. And then I wondered did she remember everything that had happened between us here the way I did, or were there some things she chose to forget. Did she remember our first study session, our first fight, our first date, and my favorite of them all, our first kiss? I didn’t get a chance to ask as she pulled me through those double doors again after more than ten years. And luckily for us our old booth was empty. We sat there on the same side like we always did, but as we sat there in such a familiar place my nerves suddenly returned refusing to go away again.   
“Eddie…talk to me. I can see something’s wrong, please…tell me,” exclaimed Rosalie the look in her eyes pleading as she scooted closer to me. I couldn’t help, but take a breath then inhaling cherry blossoms, vanilla, and her. It only served to remind me that I had missed her. The quieter I remained the closer she came to me and that only served to leave me quiet. I wanted to close the distance to kiss her the way I used to. But she was off limits now. Just that knowledge made me wonder if we could just be friends after everything we had been. With all these thoughts going through my mind the only probable answer seemed to be no. Could I tell her that? That I wasn’t sure if I could just be her friend again; could I really hurt Rosie with that truth?   
“I’m not sure we can just be friends Rosie. Before you left…we were more, we were a lot more, and I don’t know if that can just be erased. I mean consider all that’s happened between us…in this very booth in some cases. You were my first kiss, my first and only love, and the first girl I let have all of me. I used to spend hours when I should have been studying kissing you or sometimes making love to you. I’m not so sure we can just forget that,” I stammered each memory going through my mind as I mentioned them.   
“ I don’t expect you to forget…I haven’t forgotten,” breathed Rosalie looking away from me for only a second before finally she looked into my eyes making me see that now they were filled with tears.   
“But that was a long time ago, Eddie. I’m not denying that what we had was something special, but why dwell on the past? We had something it didn’t work out and now I just want things to be the way they were. I want you to be my best friend again. I want you to be the one person I can tell everything to again. We shouldn’t think about the things that happened in the past, we should just think about now,” exclaimed Rosalie letting go of my hand to get rid of a stray tear.   
“You’re right, Rosalie that was a very long time ago. So long ago that had you not entered my life again I wouldn’t be thinking of them every single second since I saw you again. I thought I had forgotten about you…about all of it, but I haven’t. You are still the love of my life. I remember every kiss, every heated moment with a smile; I wish you did too,” I snapped my voice rising. Her words angered me. It was an anger that rose as the voice started laughing in my head. For once he didn’t say a word he only laughed. I couldn’t believe that she could just pretend that nothing had ever happened between us. And I wondered if over all these years if she had been pretending I had never existed.   
“Don’t talk so loud! Someone could hear and it could get back to Nathanial,” gasped Rosalie her hands gripping the table as she looked around to see if anyone was looking our way. I looked at her then part of me feeling relieved she hadn’t told him everything, but another feeling more anger. She was marrying the Captain, but he didn’t know anything about the love we had shared. It made me think once more of the life she had led all this time. Had she been hiding from her past all this time? Had she been hiding from me? Was that why when I tried to find her when she left I had been unable to? Was she that ashamed of the past we shared? As I looked at her the idea that the answer to all of those questions might be yes truly hurt me because despite what happened we had been happy. And we had been in love.   
“You haven’t told him?” I snapped trying not to openly glare at her.   
“No, but I will…soon. Nathanial is a very complicated man and our relationship has not been easy especially considering how much older he is then me. But he is a good man and I know when I do tell him everything that happened between us he will understand. He will understand that we were young and we made mistakes. Not that I think of us as a mistake Eddie, but…after everything that happened it never would have worked,” explained Rosalie openly crying now.   
“Maybe you shouldn’t have admitted to knowing me back at the precinct. Why did you any way you could certainly keep your secret better?” I growled the anger coursing through my veins so strong I could taste it like red copper on my tongue. But I quickly had to suppress it as a waitress approached our table taking our orders. As soon as she was gone though I returned my gaze to Rosalie watching as she wiped away her tears refusing to look at me now. Gripping her shoulders I made her look me in the eye.   
“Answer me,” I snapped feeling guilty the second I looked into her eyes feeling the weight of her tears in one sudden realization. I still couldn’t stay mad at her.   
“I don’t regret our past, Eddie…please don’t think that, but that’s not what we are anymore. I love Nathanial, I need Nathanial, and if he knew the extent of our time together he might not love me anymore. I can’t tell him until he loves me so much that nothing will ever change that…the way I love him…the way we loved each other. But that’s over we can’t be anything more ever again. Someday I will tell him, but for now all he knows is a little less than the truth that we were friends…best friends. That isn’t exactly a lie because that’s what we were…in the beginning,” explained Rosalie turning away from me then as the waitress returned with our food. We ate in silence then a zillion thoughts going through my mind as we did so. More than anything I wanted to pull her into my arms and profess the real truth to her. The real truth that she was wrong; we could be what we were again. We could be as happy as we once were if she only let us. I still loved her as much as the first time my eyes tasted the sweet honey of her skin. I still smiled to the tips of my toes when I felt the warmth of her body so close to mine. I still would protect her always, but something stopped me from saying all those things. It was those words she had spoken about the man she was going to marry instead of me. Nathanial Barnes, her fiancé, the man she loved now instead of me. She loved him so even if I did profess such things she would only reject me and though it would be the first time she would do such a thing the thought still tore my soul to tears. I only hoped he would make her happy.   
“Does he make you happy?” I whispered the thought leaving my lips before I could stop it. Rosalie looked at me then not answering for a long time as she did so.   
“Does he make me happy?” repeated Rosalie her lips that I wished to kiss so much forming into the tiniest version of her radiant smile.   
“ Of course he does…he makes me the happiest woman in the world,” whispered Rosalie still not looking at me as she said so and despite that smile part of me didn’t believe her. But I ignored that old feeling that she was lying to me choosing only to nod looking down at my food until her hand touched my cheek. When our eyes met it took everything for me to not kiss her.   
“Do you want to make me happy, Eddie? If you do there is a way you can make me the happiest girl in Gotham,” smiled Rosalie this smile all too real something clear to me just by the size of it. I stared at her balling my hands into fists in an effort to keep from pulling her closer. For once in that moment the voice in my head was silent as I focused on her and nodding my head I waited to hear her answer. I hoped it would be a request for a kiss, but I knew that was improbable. But I didn’t care what it was if it meant I could make her happy I would do it. I would do anything for her.   
“It would make me so happy if you would be my best friend again. I meant what I said I really missed you, Eddie. I missed guessing your riddles and laughing with you. I missed you. Please can we be friends again, please,” exclaimed Rosalie her voice quivering as her tears threatened to spill again. Looking at her then, I didn’t know if what she wanted was possible. Could I just be friends with her with my feelings as strong as they were? Would having her in my life be worth the pain of seeing her with another man every day? I didn’t know the answer to any of it, but staring down at her still I couldn’t bring myself to deny her.   
“I’d like that too,” I breathed finally gasping as she suddenly hugged me tight. As I held her in my arms I buried my nose in her hair breathing in the smell that was her. Cherry blossoms, vanilla, and her; as I was breathing her in she said it. Something I used to love hearing from her no matter how or where she said it. But now hearing it on her lips for the first time in so long it was different because the words didn’t mean the same.   
“I love you, Eddie,” whispered Rosalie clinging to me still as if afraid she would wake up to find me a figment of her imagination. I didn’t say anything at first closing my eyes holding back tears making a secret wish that she still loved me like she used to. The way I still loved her, but finally my eyes opened and I held her tighter running my hands along her spine thinking for a second I heard a moan escape her lips. But it wasn’t possible; it had to be just an echo of the past.   
“I love you too, Rosie,” I whispered meaning it in a far different way then she did.


	3. Inner Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter from Rosalie's Point of view.

Rosalie’s POV…

As I felt Eddie’s arms wrap around me again after so long I couldn’t suppress a moan.   
“I love you too, Rosie,” whispered Eddie making me smile even as I hoped he didn’t hear the sound that slipped past. If only he knew that I didn’t mean it the way he thought. That was why I sighed when it became clear he didn’t hear my moan. He couldn’t hear it, if he did he wouldn’t accept everything I just said; he would realize it was all a lie. And Eddie could never know that because as much as I loved him still I couldn’t be with him. I needed someone who would take care of me.  
I needed someone stable and that wasn’t Edward Nygma. Despite the fact that I didn’t love him the way I said, I needed Nathanial Barnes. Though the love I felt for him was more platonic then romantic I did care deeply for him and I knew he would never let anyone harm me. Nathanial would take care of me, he could take care of me in ways that Edward could not. As much as I wished for it to be different, it wasn’t. That was the way it was, Eddie was a wonderful, but when it all came down to it I didn’t think he could take care of me. If someone tried to hurt me how would he protect me? I knew he would try, but in the end I knew he wouldn’t be able to. I knew that even as we parted looking at each other once more before going back to our lunch. I was keenly aware of Eddie right next to me in this place and though I didn’t want them to my memories was coming back to me.   
“I couldn’t pretend to not see you, Eddie. You mean more to me then that even now,” I whispered suddenly remembering his question from before.   
Our eyes met in that moment, I knew the look in his eyes too well, I had seen it many times during our high school days. It was a look I used to see every time he wanted to kiss me except now he couldn’t act on it. I could tell he wanted to. That he wanted to kiss me, but in his eyes I saw something else too. I saw a deep fear that I would reject him; I had seen that look before years ago as we sat together in classes or at this very table. I hated that fear, I wanted him to kiss me, but when he didn’t act on it I was secretly glad. Him kissing me now would break my resolve, my resolve to just be friends again, and I couldn’t let that happen. Even if that wasn’t what I wanted.   
“You mean the world to me, Eddie, you always have. You always will,” I whispered never looking away from him thinking deep down inside that I wanted him to swoop down and kiss me.   
“You know I feel the same. You’ll always be my best girl, Rosie,” whispered Eddie in response giving me a smile his eyes shining as he leaned forward making me shiver as he kissed my cheek. That simple kiss made me remember another simple kiss, except it was on the mouth; it was our first kiss.   
I remembered it so vividly, we had sat in this very booth our books open. Things had been unusually silent between us that day as we sat side by side our eyes skimming the pages of our books. To me it was all very strange, we were never this silent when we were together, but on that day Eddie was silent. He wouldn’t even look at me something I hadn’t failed to notice I just chose not to comment on it. But that all changed when he finally did look at me sneaking glances at me whenever he thought I wasn’t looking.   
“Something wrong, Eddie?” I said not looking at him for a moment choosing to wait until he snuck another look at me. When our eyes met his widened instantly and he stared at me for a moment before looking away again. But I didn’t look away from him not until he finally looked my way again. Eddie had stared at me then unabashedly his brown eyes like rays of light beaming at me. They held a look of indecision and something else I couldn’t place his glasses slipping precariously down his nose. But he didn’t seem to notice in that moment he just kept staring at me; it was like he couldn’t take his eyes off me. I’ll never forget the way he looked sitting there that day. He looked so cute, so flustered, so nervous. It was classic Eddie, it was the Eddie I fell in love with.   
“Eddie, say something?” I whispered looking into his eyes still so naïve in that moment.   
“Eddie…are you alright?” I exclaimed finally beginning to get fed up with the silence. I brought my hand from its folded position in my lap then bringing it to touch his arm, but when I did he did something he never did before. He jumped at my very touch.   
I stared at him in my surprised not understanding his jumpy nature. My eyes held a question as they continued to peer into his, but my mouth never got to ask that question. He stopped me before I could. In that moment Edward Nygma kissed me.   
“Eddie,” I gasped in response his lips soft against mine in that first kiss. In that moment I can’t deny he surprised the hell out of me, I was so surprised I had never considered anything more than friendship with him until that moment. I was just so…surprised. That first time I didn’t kiss him right back, I was too overwhelmed in that moment. I still couldn’t believe what was happening, but then he tried to pull away. He tried to pull away and end it. In that moment something came alive in my brain. Slowly my hands moved to grip his shirt holding him in place not letting him go until I needed to breathe.  
Our eyes met then, his looked unsure, mine were most likely filled with love; at least I hope they were because I did love him. Though it was a different love, not yet romantic, but not exactly platonic; it was love. That love then grew into the love I feel now. It is the love I shall always feel for my Eddie, for he will always be the love of my life.   
“Was that alright?” said Eddie his voice so low I barely heard him.   
“ Yes, it was fine,” I breathed my eyes never leaving him as I nodded too not wanting to stop as my brain continued to process what had just happened.   
“ I’m sorry…I caught you off guard…I should have waited,” stammered Eddie looking away from me as I continued to nod not being able to stop for a long time as he returned to focus on his work. He probably expected me to continue working too, but first my head had to stop shaking. I couldn’t believe what just happened. Eddie had kissed me that was the last thing I expected him to do. I wasn’t sure how to feel or what to do now. I wasn’t even sure what I wanted to do now. I was so unsure of everything; suddenly nothing seemed to make sense. But when I knew, it happened suddenly.   
“Do it again. You will…won’t you?” I said suddenly finally looking at him. He had been sitting there writing in his tiny notebook until that moment, but in that moment he stopped. He stopped all movement, he just sat there staring at the page in his notebook, but then he looked at me. Eddie looked about as surprised as I had just been.   
“You want me to?” exclaimed Eddie his eyes searching mine. His notebook and whatever he had been writing were forgotten in that moment as he inched ever slowly closer to me. His question made me smile because it was so silly yet so understandable because why wouldn’t I want him to kiss me again?   
“Yes, I do, very much. If you want to that is?” I breathed moving closer too.   
“What…you want me to do what? I need to hear you say it,” exclaimed Eddie clearly flustered. Slowly then I sighed building up the courage to tell him what I needed to. I was still so nervous that it took me a moment, but then taking his hand I looked into his eyes even deeper than before. I knew I had to say it; I had to be brave, and say it.   
Looking into his eyes I could see how much he wanted me to say it. That was the first time I saw that look in his eyes for in that moment he wanted more than anything to kiss me, but he needed to be sure I wanted it. And I did. I really wanted it.   
“Kiss me,” I whispered watching as slowly a smile formed on his face. He didn’t hesitate then moving his lips until they were touching mine in the sweetest of kisses. He was so passionate, but so tender. He was my Eddie; he put his personality in everything he did, and that included kissing me. The second kiss was as good as the first, the ones that followed were even better.   
Slowly that memory faded away and I found myself out of the past and back in the present. Looking at Eddie again I found he still had that look in his eyes and I still wanted him back. Suddenly I took his hand intertwining them just the way I used to long before that kiss.   
“I never forgot about you, how could I? You’ll always be one of my greatest memories, Eddie,” I whispered hoping that would lessen the hurt I knew I had inflicted on him. Just knowing that I had done that made my own heart hurt. Staring at him then I felt his eyes on me even as mine looked away. Suddenly I couldn’t help, but wonder if he had thought of me over the years. Or had I been someone he had forgotten until a day ago. As much as I knew it shouldn’t the thought that he might have hurt me.   
“Did you forget about me?” I said feeling instantly as his hands gripped mine. Eddie brought my hand to his lips; I noted that his lips were still so soft against my skin, and stroking his thumb across my knuckles he smiled.   
“No, I never forgot you. I just stored you, the memory of you, in the back of my mind,” whispered Eddie making me smile. What he said made chills as cold as wind go through my body. It felt good to know I was always on his mind as he was mine. And though we couldn’t be together it was good to know he still loved me as I did him. Even if I couldn’t tell him. Before I knew it both our hands were joined as our heads inched closer and it was just as our noses touched that reality came crashing down.   
“Rosie,” breathed Eddie moving closer before I pulled away knowing this couldn’t happen, not anymore.   
“Eddie, don’t,” I whispered turning away from him my eyes seeking out the clock that hung in the corner.   
“We should go,” I smiled looking at him ever so briefly. Discreetly then I moved away from him not being strong enough to bare being close to him anymore. He was a temptation I couldn’t give into. Being close to him now would ruin everything I had built when I came to Gotham. It would set things in motion that couldn’t happen and he would find out things he didn’t need to know. Things that would only hurt him more than he already was and that was the last thing I ever wanted to do. Eddie only nodded in response his eyes on me as I stood up to pay the bill.   
He was waiting for me at the door when I was done and this time though I knew I shouldn’t I took his hand almost immediately. Once again we found ourselves sitting together in a cab on our way back to the precinct and once again all my silent. I could see him watching me throughout the ride, it took everything for me not to shiver in response, but when I could take it no more I looked at him. Our eyes met and we smiled. Despite the unpleasant parts I was glad we had done this and looking at him still I knew he was too. But still all too soon the cab was in front of the precinct signaling that our time together was coming to an end. My steps were slow as I walked into the precinct by his side, I never wanted to leave him, but I would have to deny it for the rest of my life. I would have to deny I loved him for the rest of my life. Eddie tried to leave me without a word, but I wasn’t going to let our lunch end like that. He was going to say goodbye to me, I was going to say goodbye to him, but then I reminded myself this wasn’t goodbye. We would see each other much more after this. But still when he tried to leave me I grabbed his hand keeping him in place.   
“Don’t just walk away, Eddie,” I exclaimed our eyes meeting as he turned to face me once more.   
“I have to go, Rosie. Duty calls,” whispered Eddie giving me a soft smile that grew bigger as I smiled too choosing that moment to lean in to kiss his cheek.   
“I hope we have more days like this, Eddie. I really have missed you; I want to spend more time with you. We will…won’t we?” I whispered my eyes silently begging him for an answer. Eddie looked at me a moment before slowly he took both my hands in his bringing them to his lips.   
“We will,” smiled Eddie giving my hands one last kiss before letting them drop. Slowly I shared his smile and after a moment I took a step away from him.   
“Bye, Eddie,” I smiled my eyes lingering on him until I left the precinct. Soon I found myself in another cab on my way to my apartment. My eyes watched the streets, but they didn’t see them. All I could think about was Eddie. The day replayed in my mind like a video. Nothing had changed after we had it out after all these years. We were madly in love we just couldn’t show it. I would always love him, but though I hated myself for it I hoped he wouldn’t always feel the same. I wanted Eddie to be happy and if he found someone else to be happy with I would be heart broken, but happy. As much as he loved me I hoped he would stop loving me so that he could love again. That way he would lead a happy life. I loved Edward Nygma, I always would. As that thought repeated in my mind I let my head fall back in my seat until it pulled up outside my apartment.   
I was truly happy to have Eddie back. I wanted him to be my best friend again, but in the back of my mind I knew one thing. The fact that I still loved him would make what followed harder. We would have to work at it to have the friendship we once had. Part of me was worried that we couldn’t be friends not after everything that happened, but I wanted it more than anything. And that night that thought was proven in the subject of my very dreams. It was a normal night, Nathanial came home, we had dinner, and went to bed as was our routine. But the man I was set to marry was not the one in my dreams that night. Instead it was the one I loved. I was dreaming of Edward Nygma.   
I knew where I was, I was in a room, Eddie’s room or what used to be his room. It was eerily silent, everything was just as I remembered it, but I loved it. I had missed his room; it held so many great memories. I stood there alone my back to the closed mahogany door, but I didn’t stay alone. Soon the door opened. Suddenly I heard a creak behind me and turning I found Eddie there close enough to touch dressed in the plaid green pajamas I remembered so well. Slowly Eddie approached me until gripping my hips he pulled me close, it was only then that I realized I was standing nearly naked in front of him my bra and panties were the only things covering me.   
“Eddie,” I breathed leaning in close to him enjoying the feel of his hands on me.   
“You are still so beautiful,” whispered Eddie moving his hand up my side in the same moment as his lips met mine.   
“Oh, Eddie,” I exclaimed longing in the very sound of my voice as I moaned into his kiss. My arms surrounded him in that moment as I instinctively clung to his pale skinny form. I never wanted to let him go and in that moment I didn’t plan to. But then he let me fall onto the green comforter of his bed not waiting a second to fall on top of me. In that moment that’s how I knew it was a dream, for this would never, could never happen in real life. Not now. Eddie kissed me still with the lips of a man who truly loved a woman. His kiss was as soft as our first, as sweet as his soul, and so tender it made me fall apart. But what was even better was his touch. The way he cupped my breasts in his hand squeezing them showing me that he appreciated them, the way he held me as if losing me would kill him. I silently wondered if it would; if it had all those years ago when I left him so abruptly. But I let that slip away as I focused on him, on this dream. Part of me wondered if this would be like this if this were real. Eddie suddenly looked into my eyes in that moment and it made me shiver just like before. Everything he did added to the love I felt for him. It all made me want it to be real.   
“Rosie…god I love you…I’ve missed you,” growled Eddie pulling me impossibly closer making my eyes widen. His eyes were blown wide with lust, lust for me, and it made me smile as I peered helplessly into his eyes. I was transfixed by them I never wanted to look away. Gently he stroked my sides with his fingertips as he looked down at me.   
“Spread your legs,” breathed Eddie gripping my hip making me do so almost instantly quickly wrapping them around his waist. My legs were tight around his waist letting me feel him. Eddie was so hard and I loved that I had done that to him. When I smiled in response it was soon covered by his lips. He kissed me with a deep hunger that had me hanging onto him my heart pounding now. He held my face in his hands and gripping his upper back I wanted to tell him I loved him. That I would always love him, but I wanted his kisses so much more.   
“Eddie, please make love to me,” I begged as his hands left my face moving over my body making my breathing heavy. He kissed me still though until suddenly he wasn’t. Skimming my neck he bit my skin making me mewl as he worshipped me like he used to. I wanted him to mark me, to make me his just as I was; I wanted this dream to be true.   
“Rosie,” growled Eddie as he moved his lips over my neck. I was lost in his arms and I never wanted to be found. I was his, completely his, and as I clung to him I knew I always would be. I always wanted to be. It was as his lips scoured my neck that I felt him finger my panties his lips moving down my neck as he pulled them down with a tug.   
“I love you,” whispered Eddie pulling my body taunt against his my legs high around his hips. I kissed him then cradling the back of his neck with my hand. He kissed me right back knowing my kiss was as much an I love you as my words could say. Slowly my hands moved down his spine then making him groan as they came to grip his ass. Only when I started to fumble with his pajama bottoms did he pull away to look at me.   
He quickly helped me get them off replacing my legs around his waist as soon as he did. In that moment I felt his length flush against my heat and it made me swoon especially when I felt him. Eddie was hard his head lying against my entrance. In that moment all I wanted was for him to slip inside me and never leave.   
“I want you inside me, Eddie. Please I need you,” I whispered the second the words came out of my mouth he was inside me giving me exactly what I wanted. I wanted him to move then, but he didn’t. He stayed settled inside of me and though he felt so good I wanted to feel him again. To feel the power of him, of him pounding into me until he lost control just like he used to; I wanted him. I wanted all of him. He held my hips firm in his as he stared down at me. It was like he was memorizing me, in his eyes I saw just how much he wanted me. But then I felt it even more when he kissed me with so much passion it could have killed me. I hoped it would, so I could die there with him. Suddenly then he was moving his lips slamming like a bulldozer into mine. He held my screams with his lips as he made love to me so sweetly with just as much power though. He could always be so sweet, so gentle, but yet so powerful too. It was one of the reasons I loved him.   
“You feel good, so good inside me, Eddie,” I exclaimed clinging to him as he held my hips firm with his talented hands.   
“You feel good,” growled Eddie giving my ass a smack making me squeal.   
“Eddie,” I squealed letting him claim my lips soon after his tongue seeking mine. He kissed me thoroughly his lips soft yet still insistent as his tongue took control. It all overwhelmed me making me break away breathing like a marathon runner. I was so close then I knew I wouldn’t last much longer. Closing my eyes I let my head fall back just enjoying this moment afraid it would suddenly end.   
“I’m gonna come,” I gasped my body arching into his.   
It was in that moment that my fear came true. I didn’t want to leave him, I wanted to stay with him, but then I remembered it was a dream. This was all a dream, he wasn’t making love to me, and none of it was real. Suddenly I was awake. I found myself in my own bed not his. Eddie was gone and I missed him instantly. I was surrounded by darkness, I could feel Nathanial by my side, and sitting there I didn’t want him there. I wanted Eddie; I wanted Eddie to be lying there next to me. He stared down at me half asleep and blinking I silently wondered if I had said anything in my sleep.   
“Rosalie, is everything alright?” said Nathanial his look stern.   
I nodded my head despite the memory of the dream running through my mind.   
“I just had a dream that’s all. I’m fine,” I said giving him a smile and a kiss before letting him pull me close. He said nothing more as he wrapped his arms around me laying me down next to him in bed. I felt as he spooned around me his arms like iron around me. As I closed my eyes I tried to sleep again, but this time I couldn’t. All I could think about was Eddie. Eddie and the dream I had just had. I wished more than anything I could make it true.   
I wanted it to be his arms around me now. I knew they would not be like iron, but as soft as Eddie himself was. I knew he wouldn’t be so stern all the time he would be my love. He would love me or at least show that he loved me. All I wanted was Eddie, but I couldn’t have him. If we had lived in another city, if we could sneak away from Gotham everything would be different. I could be with Eddie then, but not here. And not with him the way he was. Not if he hadn’t changed. But this was Gotham, a place where no one was safe that was why I needed Nathanial.   
“Goodnight honey,” said Nathanial suddenly as if sensing I wasn’t sleeping when I was supposed to. I closed my eyes then letting it all slip away knowing he would get mad if I didn’t go to sleep soon. But as I fell asleep then I couldn’t help thinking that in a city like Gotham not even love was enough to keep two people together.


	4. Ms. Kringle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosalie Meets Ms. Kringle just as Edward contemplates his options.

Edward’s POV…

Days passed than a week and I avoided seeing Rosalie. I had promised to be her friend again, but I needed time. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do now or really how I was supposed to do it. After all this time how were Rosie and I just supposed to pick back up where we left off? Yet not do that at the same time? We were friends once, then we were boyfriend and girlfriend, and then she was suddenly gone. After everything we’d been through how could we just be friends again, that was the one question I didn’t know the answer to. But Rosalie wasn’t the only woman I was trying to steer clear of. I had stopped my pursuit of Ms. Kringle as well; in fact I couldn’t bear to see her because like with Rosalie I didn’t know exactly where to go from here.   
“You don’t love Ms. Kringle, you never did. You’ve always loved Rosie. Problem is she’s not yours anymore and you’re not man enough to go after her,” said my other half over and over again continuously tormenting me. And the worst part was I didn’t know if he was right or wrong.   
In one way I knew he was right, for I didn’t love Ms. Kringle. I still loved Rosalie and always had, it was like I told her she had been hidden away in my heart, but knowing what I knew now changed everything. I couldn’t have Rosalie; she didn’t love me anymore, as much as I wanted to fight for her why should I if she didn’t want that? But that left the question of what to do now. Should I continue to pursue Ms. Kringle, she was a lovely lady; maybe could I grow to love her, like I loved Rosalie now? Ms. Kringle had made it clear what she thought of me even after the disappearance of Officer Dorati. I felt no remorse over killing him for her, even now that I knew I didn’t feel for her what I thought, after all she was a lady, and he didn’t treat her as such. These questions plagued me like the continuous rain that drifted over Gotham. I didn’t know how to answer any of them and my other half didn’t help me answer any of them. All he did was drive me crazy and make everything worse.   
“For god’s sake who cares if you love her? Just fuck her,” said the voice as I lay in bed at night.   
“I can’t do that…I’m not that kind of guy,” I snapped back wanting him to be quiet for once. He was always talking to me, he was always in my business thinking he had a right to be, but he didn’t. I was a grown man I could take care of myself and yes maybe I had let him come out just a little when I killed Dorati that was different now. I couldn’t be like him, I just couldn’t. I just wanted him to leave me alone, but he wouldn’t.   
“You can be that kind of guy,” whispered the voice the mere sound of it in my ear telling me how much my answer displeased him. But I didn’t care how much it upset him, for now that Rosalie was back everything was different. I couldn’t be like him, even if I couldn’t have her, I couldn’t be like him because then Rosalie would leave me again. She would leave me altogether and this time I really would never see her again.   
“I won’t lose her again. I may not be with her like I want, but I love her. I want her to be happy and Barnes makes her happy; at least I’ll get to see her…we’re going to try to be friends again. It’s your fault I lost her in the first place,” I whispered feeling as at first that other half laughed at me. But when I said that he stopped and for once all was silent. I knew, though I didn’t know exactly how, that my darker half caused me to lose her all those years ago.  
It had been just as that half manifested in my mind, when we had lost our most precious thing, that Rosalie had left me leaving me to think I would never see her again. But those thoughts left my mind when that half returned.  
“Man up, she is a woman, you are a man, you could take her or any woman you want. You could have Ms. Kringle, you could have Rosalie if you just had the balls to take what you want,” screamed the voice his invisible hands pounding my chest. His words made me sit up in bed a sudden anger flowing through me. Before I knew it I was out of bed and pacing the floor my entire body shaking as his words repeated in my mind. He was wrong; I could not have both even if I wanted both.   
For that was not what I wanted. I didn’t want to have two or three or even four women at my beck and call. I only wanted one woman; I only wanted Rosalie. The problem was she didn’t want me anymore, that, and she wasn’t mine anymore. But still even knowing that I knew one thing for sure. I would always love Rosalie even if I grew to love another woman, the love I had for her would linger on my heart until I died. She would be all I ever wanted, forever.   
“Maybe I should just settle for Ms. Kringle. It’s probably better than being alone pining away for a woman I can’t have,” I thought in that moment sighing in anger as he started to laugh in response to it. But I didn’t let him bother me for long; instead I focused on my problem. If I did settle for Ms. Kringle how exactly would I get her to settle for me? She had already made it clear what she thought of me, so what was I to do?  
Ms. Kringle didn’t see me the way Rosalie had when we met. She thought I was weird like everyone else I’d ever met had. But how would I change her mind? Could I change her mind? So many questions and for once I had no answers. In fact it only made me wonder something else entirely. Would another woman ever love me? Would I ever love another woman other than Rosalie? I didn’t know, but I didn’t know if I wanted to know. Maybe, just maybe, Rosalie was the only woman who would ever love me; maybe she was the only woman I would ever love.  
I didn’t sleep that night, those questions wouldn’t let me. They bothered me too much, all except for the last one. The last question I didn’t mind at all. As strange as it seems I didn’t mind Rosalie being my only love, I just wished someone other than her could love me. For even as I decided to settle for Ms. Kringle, I knew I’d never love her, not like I did my Rosie, and she would never truly love me. No one would ever love me the way Rosalie did.   
“Do you have to be so gushy all the time?” asked the voice suddenly making me frown as I tried to sleep his voice forever haunting me in both sleep and while I was awake.   
“Fine then, settle for Ms. Kringle, let Rosalie get away, but you’ll live to regret it,” said the voice beginning to laugh before continuing.   
“Besides you could always pretend Ms. Kringle is Rosalie,” said the voice becoming suspiciously quiet as my eyes opened wide at the idea.   
“I couldn’t do that…could I?” I whispered letting the idea fill my mind hearing as my other half only laughed in response. All that night though as I lie awake though it wasn’t Ms. Kringle I thought of; all I could think about was my Rosie.   
That was probably why she was on my mind all day the next day. I remembered everything and it was like her face was plastered to my brain. Not even the voice of my other half could break her image from my mind. And then suddenly she was there. I had stood in a hallway of the GCPD not far from my office when she just appeared out of nowhere. She still knew all my tickle spots. I should have known I couldn’t avoid her forever.   
Rosalie’s POV…  
I was angry and sad and so many other emotions I didn’t understand as I moved through the halls of the precinct that day. I couldn’t believe it, I had tried to deny it, to pretend we just hadn’t seen each other, but it was true. Eddie had been avoiding me and the mere thought made my heart hurt. I mean, why wouldn’t he want to see me? I thought we were friends again? Eddie had been hiding from me and after giving Nathanial his lunch I stomped through the precinct determined to put a stop to it. I spotted him standing in the darkness of a corner writing in that same notebook. At first the sight of him still doing things like that made me smile. I could remember times like when we first kissed when he would just stand there writing god knows what in his notebooks, but soon enough I let that slip away. Remembering my reasons for being there I continued towards him at a quick pace a smile on my face as I decided what I was going to do. Coming up behind him, I brought my hands to his sides, and not wasting any time I started to tickle him.   
He jumped three feet in the air swinging around in my direction and when he saw me his eyes widened. For a minute we stood there staring at each other before finally he took my arm leading me down the hall.   
“Rosie…what was that? Why’d you do that? Don’t you realize anyone could have seen us,” exclaimed Eddie appearing very nervous as his eyes kept moving up and down the hall. In fact he wouldn’t look at me, he just kept looking around as if he thought we were committing a crime be merely being seen together. His response made me laugh which only made him finally look directly at me.   
“We’re not doing anything wrong, Eddie. People have already seen us together even Nathanial. Plus I already told you I’d never let him hurt you in any way, relax,” I smiled trying to get him to calm down and smile too, but he didn’t, he just continued looking all around us.   
“But that’s not why you’ve been avoiding me, is it?” I said letting him see the hurt in my eyes as I crossed my arms over my chest.   
“I’ve been busy…there’s a lot to do around here,” whispered Eddie refusing to look at me still instead choosing to admire the floor. It wasn’t until I touched his cheek that he looked at me leaning into my touch though I could tell he tried not to.   
“Tell me what’s wrong, Eddie. Did you change your mind about us being friends again?” I exclaimed trying not to be so emotional in that moment. He didn’t say anything then as he looked into my eyes his hands shaking as he took mine. I could tell he was struggling with what to say, but despite that I wished he’d hurry up. Whatever he was going to say I needed him to just say it so I could know whether to be happy or go home crying.   
“No, Rosie…I didn’t change my mind. I want that…I just…don’t know how. After everything—,” said Eddie peering into my eyes.   
“What if we can’t be friends again…after everything we have between us?” whispered Eddie not looking at me again clearly afraid of hurting my feelings.   
“I don’t know, Eddie. Maybe we can, maybe we can’t, but how are we to know if we just give up before we try? We were really good friends once and I think we could be that way again if given the chance. All I really know is that it will never happen if you keep hiding from me, so please stop, and give it a try. Please, for me, for us; give it a try, Eddie,” I exclaimed his eyes meeting mine again. After a moment I felt as he gripped my hands a smile slowly finding its way onto his face. And then he nodded in agreement making my smile wide again as I pulled him close.   
When I hugged him he jumped back on instinct. I had taken him by surprise, but soon I felt as his arms went around me. I smiled wider as I melted into his arms, I would never get enough of being in his arms that was why I couldn’t help, but look happy about being there. Even as much as I knew I shouldn’t especially here where anyone could see us, even Nathanial, but in that moment I didn’t care. And someone did see us. I didn’t know who she was, but suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw her standing there looking right at us. It was then that our moment ended and I looked directly at her now.   
“Eddie, someone’s watching us over there,” I breathed pointing my head in the direction of the mystery woman. When I told him this he quickly spun around looking where I pointed and when he saw the woman too I didn’t miss the way his eyes widened. I was instantly curious. Looking at the woman again I let my eyes run over her silently wondering who she was. She was very pretty with red hair that she kept up in a ponytail. She wore glasses like Eddie, but they were slightly more feminine. She dressed very simple it appeared in only a white dress with a green sweater and heels. My eyes then fell on Eddie, he was still staring at her while looking at me every now and then, I knew he was deciding what to say to me. It all made me wonder if this girl meant something to him and I won’t deny I was jealous just at the thought of it.   
“Eddie, who is that?” I exclaimed when he finally looked at me as the woman moved out of sight. Just looking at him I didn’t really need to ask; I could see he liked her.   
“That was Ms. Kringle…she’s just a woman I work with,” explained Eddie as he took my arm. He led me down the hall into a room filled with desks closing the door tight behind him before looking at me again. I looked at all the empty desks knowing one must be his and my answer was quickly answered. Pulling a chair up beside one of them he ushered me to sit down and as I did I let my eyes run over the surface. It was just as organized as I knew it would be. But then my eyes landed on his coffee mug, the one with the question mark, seeing it made me smile.   
“After all these years you still have the mug I gave you. I would have thought you would have got a new one by now,” I whispered meeting his gaze. Eddie sat down at his desk chair his eyes falling on the mug a smile curling his lips. His eyes moved from it to me his smile getting wider.   
“I’ve never been able to find one I like as much,” smiled Eddie. I could see he was glad I hadn’t asked anymore about Ms. Kringle, but I was about to disappoint him.   
“So what’s going on with you and Ms. Kringle?” I whispered giving him a smile that told him I wouldn’t let up on the subject until he told me.   
Eddie became silent his eyes downcast as he stared at his hands. It was clear he didn’t want to talk about it.   
“Nothing’s going on…I told you she’s just someone I work with,” said Eddie looking all around the room in a flustered state.   
“I can see she’s more than that, Eddie. You like her don’t you?” I smiled hiding all my jealous in that moment as I chose to be happy for him. After all he had to watch me with Nathanial, he wanted me to be happy; why shouldn’t I want the same for him? And if Ms. Kringle did make him truly happy I would be happy for him.   
“Yes, I like her, but that doesn’t matter. None of that matters because she doesn’t like me, Rosie. She’s already told me she thinks I’m weird like everyone else always has,” exclaimed Eddie clearly angry. He still refused to look at me his whole body shaking with his anger as everything grew silent. I hurt for him in that moment because in my mind that woman was a fool. Eddie was the best man a woman could have. And in that moment I didn’t like that Kringle girl, for she had hurt him. I could see clearly how hurt he was. I knew too well how everyone saw him, everyone, but me. I would make him see too. I was determined in that as I made him look at me holding his face in my hands.   
For a moment I didn’t know what to say. I just stared into his eyes as my own thoughts went through my mind. I wanted to tell him I loved him in that moment, if only so he would know someone did, but I couldn’t. But in that moment I thought repeatedly that I did. I always would.   
“I don’t, I never have,” I whispered not letting him look away from me.   
“No. No one’s ever been kind to me except you,” whispered Eddie leaning in close to kiss my cheek. I smiled at him in that moment part of me thinking I should move away from him now, but I couldn’t. I only took one of his hands while keeping the other on his cheek. I brought our intertwined fingers to the place over my heart our eyes locking.   
“I’ll never think of you that way, Eddie. All those people especially that Ms. Kringle don’t know how great you are. But Ms. Kringle, her mind could be changed. You could show her how great you are if you just let her see the Eddie I see. Let her get to know you,” I whispered our heads moving closer in that moment. Finally our foreheads touched as all became silent for just a second as I peered into his eyes and he peered into mine. It was like we were lost then and looking at him I hoped what I said helped. When he smiled I knew it did. But then that smile fell again as soon as it had appeared.   
“What if she doesn’t what to?” said Eddie his eyes becoming sad.   
“Eddie, then it’s her loss, but you listen to me,” I whispered taking his face in both my hands now.   
“You are great, Eddie. If you believe that so will she. Show her the Edward Nygma you always show me. The funny smart guy who listens and is nothing if not a gentleman. Show her that, Eddie, and she will want to know you more,” I whispered making his smile grow along with mine as I spoke. I felt as he nodded his lips kissing my cheek a final time before looking straight at me again. He had that look in his eyes again. He wanted to kiss me and in that moment I wished I was Ms. Kringle. If I were her I would accept him the second he offered. But I hid all that, so I looked nothing, but happy for him.   
You wouldn’t have known it, but my heart was breaking in that moment. For the thought of him wanting, loving, needing another woman made me ache. We stayed like that, my hands holding his face as we peered into each other’s eyes. I knew I should pull away, but I needed one more minute like this with him. But then before I could the door opened. Nathanial stood there an angry look on his face and in that moment we instantly flew apart.


	5. Trust with Lies

Rosalie’s POV…

Eddie and I separated the second we both saw Nathanial standing there. He stood there a terror just waiting to jump upon the both of us. I had never seen him like that before. He stood with his face as red as a bottle of hot sauce with his hands in fists. For a moment, I was afraid he would hit Eddie, but he didn’t he simple stood there angry as could be until suddenly he marched into the room. The door closed with a slam and staring at me I found myself for the first time scared of him.   
“Rosalie, why are you here with Edward Nygma? I thought you went home…I want an explanation right now,” snapped Nathanial his body shaking slightly. I could tell he was trying to remain calm, but it wasn’t working. He was mad and though I didn’t understand it exactly I didn’t put much consideration into the matter then.   
“Nothing…Eddie and I were just talking is all. I told you we’re just friends,” I whispered taking a step towards him to try to calm him more, but the second I tried he pulled away. It was obvious that he didn’t believe me. That made me start to panic inside because what if he wouldn’t believe me? What if he left me? It all ran through my mind even as I tried to appear calm when inside I was freaking out.   
I was afraid. Though I might not have loved Nathanial the way I loved Eddie, I did love him in a way. He had been there when no one else was. He had protected me and despite it all I didn’t want to lose him. He was my friend if he was nothing else. I couldn’t lose him or I didn’t know what would happen.   
“Nathanial please, listen to me. I’m telling you the truth,” I whispered moving to touch his cheek, but again he wouldn’t let me. But as this was all happening it didn’t leave my mind that Eddie was still there watching it all. Deep down I was afraid for him too. I didn’t want to ruin his life or make him lose his job or have this be the reason we couldn’t be friends. I didn’t want Nathanial to try to hurt him, if he did I wouldn’t let him. Eddie was my friend, but more important than that whether he knew it or not he was my love. I loved him and I would let no one hurt him. Even Nathanial.   
With that in mind, I approached Nathanial once more.   
“Baby,” I breathed wanting to draw his eyes to me, but they had found Eddie now and didn’t seem to want to leave. For a moment then I was sure I would have to make him look at me. He just stared at Eddie and I wasn’t sure, but to me he had this murderous look in his eyes. But when he finally looked at me that look was still in his eyes. It scared me, made me wonder if maybe Nathanial was capable of hurting me when until now I never would have believed that.   
“I want the truth, Rosalie, now,” breathed Nathanial so that only I could hear him.   
“I haven’t lied to you. Nathanial, Eddie and I were just talking I swear to you that that is the truth,” I whispered attempting to touch his face, but again he wouldn’t let me.   
I could see he didn’t believe me. I knew that just by the emotions that I suddenly saw in his eyes. He never usually showed any, he was always so tightly wound before, but now his eyes were filled with everything he was feeling. There was anger, there was hurt and sadness, but most of all there was a lack of trust that cut me deep. He didn’t trust me at all. That was clear now when I looked into his eyes seeing all those emotions. They showed that he didn’t believe and that could only mean he didn’t trust me either.   
“I’ll be in my office. When you’re done here we can talk in private…please don’t be long. And Nygma, you and I will be having a talk later…much later,” snapped Nathanial simply turning away from me. He left the room without looking back at me and when he did it broke my heart. How could he not trust me after all our time together. That thought lingered on my mind even as I turned to look at Eddie again.   
Eddie and I looked at each other neither of us knowing exactly what to say. I tried to give him a smile, but I barely managed it. How was I expected to smile when my life might be ending the second I walked out that door? But still laying a hand on his cheek I tried to reassure him.   
“Everything will be alright, don’t worry about it. I’ll talk to him…I’ll make him see reason. I…I meant what I said…I won’t let him hurt you, Eddie,” I whispered before Nathanial’s voice reached me.   
“Rosalie,” called Nathanial the mere sound of it making me wince. My steps were fast then as I approached the door not sure what to expect when I spoke with Nathanial. The many scenarios went through my mind until suddenly a hand caught mine using it to turn me around. There first thing I found myself looking into were Eddie’s brown eyes.   
“Are you sure you should go? Rosie…if he tried to hurt you…if he hurts you…I wouldn’t let it stand. I would never let anyone hurt you either…we protect each other after all,” whispered Eddie making me smile my first genuine smile since this all began bringing a hand to touch his cheek.   
“No…no Eddie…Nathanial would never hurt me…I’ll be fine,” I breathed giving his cheek a gentle pat before walking away. I didn’t completely believe my words even as I spoke them. I didn’t dwell on that though as I moved down the hall calming myself my thoughts moving rapidly. He didn’t trust me, the more that went through my mind the more it bothered me. And the more it bothered me the faster I started to walk. I knew Nathanial would try to be stern, to cow me into saying I did something wrong as he always did, but this time I wasn’t going to let him.  
“I did nothing…we were just talking,” I said to myself coming closer to his office my fear from before now fully formed into anger. I stomped up the steps leading to his office letting that anger fuel me. He was in the wrong this time and I would not let him sway me to believe otherwise. I would show him for the first time that I wasn’t weak. That I was stronger than he thought, but even as I decided that I wondered where it was all coming from. I had always had this strength, I knew that, but I didn’t understand why I was just now showing it to Nathanial. Where was this sudden courage coming from? I didn’t know. Part of me thought maybe it was something I had gained again thanks to my reunion with Edward Nygma. I hadn’t been able to use it, my strength, until now. Now that we had found each other again.   
“We did nothing wrong,” I breathed one last time as I found myself in front of Nathanial’s office. Nathanial was standing there his arms crossed over his chest.   
Suddenly seeing him like that I found myself filled with anger. We had been together for over two years, I had never given him a reason not to trust me, and now he catches me talking to Eddie so he immediately thinks the worst. After all this time, he still didn’t trust me, just knowing that made me so mad at him. I made that quite clear with the glare I gave him as I passed into his office. Nathanial followed right behind me and I could see that he was still angry, but I was determined. He was not going to turn this around on me. I did nothing wrong and I was going to stand my ground. It wasn’t until the door closed and the blinds were shut that I rounded on him.   
“You didn’t have to act like that back there. I told you the truth you should trust me enough, know me enough to know I’m not lying,” I snapped crossing my arms over my chest this time. I stared at him thinking repeatedly that I was not going to back down. I saw he was surprised by my actions, but I didn’t let myself care. I took pride in his surprise and just stood there waiting for his response. He had never seen this side of me before.  
“Do I…I walked in on you and Nygma practically kissing. Maybe you weren’t when I walked in, but if I hadn’t what would have happened? If I had waited say ten minutes what would I have saw?” said Nathanial speaking to me as if he was interrogating me like one of the criminals he locked in his cells instead of the woman he loved. As he spoke, Nathanial came to stand in front of me his eyes boring into mine.   
“You would have saw the same thing, Nathanial. I keep telling you that Eddie and I are just friends. He needed to talk to someone, so I was there to listen. If you trusted me you wouldn’t be questioning that the way you are right now,” I screamed right into his face really angry in that moment my hands clenching into tight white knuckled fists.   
“I know what I saw, Rosalie,” said Nathanial shaking his head in a way that made me want to slap him.   
“I know what I saw in there. I saw the way you two were looking at each other,” whispered Nathanial that hurt from before returning, but I barely saw it before he turned away from me. He slammed his hands down on his desk then making me stop mid step to approach him.   
“Are you sleeping with Nygma?” whispered Nathanial the question alone making me move quickly to stand behind him. Gently I let my hands slide up to grip his shoulders as I leaned my head against his back. When I felt, him lean towards his desk away from me despite it all I was a little hurt.   
“Of course not, I love you, Nathanial. We’re just friends, very close friends. We do what friends do, we talk, and that is what you saw,” I whispered hoping beyond hope that he would believe me despite the lie within the truth.   
“Please believe me…trust me because I am telling the truth, I promise you that,” I whispered burying my face in his back. My hands left his shoulders then coming to wrap around him. I was only partly surprised when he let me do this. He let me wrap my arms around him and then he grabbed my hands as I moved to place them over his heart. It was like he didn’t trust me anywhere near it anymore.   
“I want to believe you, Rosalie, but I can’t. I know what I saw,” whispered Nathanial holding my hands still as he turned finally looking down at me.   
His answer broke my heart because it only confirmed what I already knew. It only confirmed that he didn’t trust me; not the way I trusted him. The knowledge of that made an ache form in my chest, but it also stirred the anger in me that had until just began to ebb.   
“Why can’t you?” I breathed part of me wanting him to admit it, to say it out loud. He didn’t trust me, but I knew he would never tell me that. Nathanial held everything inside himself. He always had and I knew he would do that now because he thought he was protecting himself. In the end, as I looked into his eyes I knew I would have to say it. To admit it when he would not.   
“If you won’t admit it, say it…I will. You don’t trust me, Nathanial. I thought all this time you did, but now I see you never have,” I exclaimed letting my tears, my pain flow freely down the length of my face this time not letting him touch me. As I took a step away from him I peered into his eyes and I saw how much he wanted to deny it. But he couldn’t because to deny it would be a lie.   
“Rosalie…please don’t” whispered Nathanial moving to take my hands again when I wrenched them out of his, my steps fast as I backed away from him.   
“You don’t trust me. You don’t trust me and I’ve never given you reason not to,” I exclaimed my voice rising.   
“Rosalie, listen that’s not it. Let me explain,” exclaimed Nathanial still reaching for me. Only then did I stop. I found myself staring him down in that moment and I silently dared him to continue. I wanted him to come up with some lie to tell me, but he just stood there in silence letting it grow. It was that silence that made my anger flare.   
“What! What explanation…what lie do you have, Nathanial. I know…I know now that you don’t trust me and it makes me so mad at you. I mean, we’ve been together so long. I trust you completely and to know you don’t trust me truly hurts me,” I cried wiping the tears even as they fell. He didn’t dare come near me then though I could see in the way he held himself that he wanted to. But he knew he had crossed a line with me. He knew he had hurt me and I don’t think he knew what to do.   
“Sweetheart…I’m sorry…please let’s talk about this,” whispered Nathanial slowly taking small steps towards me. His steps didn’t stop until he was in front of me and as much as he tried to get me to look at him I couldn’t. I couldn’t look at him because I knew it would only make me cry more then I already was. And then he touched my cheek in a final attempt to get my eyes to meet his.   
I didn’t want him touching me anymore. I knew that when he touched my cheek and my whole body flinched away from him our eyes finally meeting. Just like I thought more tears came as I backed up until my back hit his office door. And then we just stood there staring at each other.   
“I thought you trusted me completely too. I don’t know if I can be with someone who doesn’t trust me…I need to think…I’m going to go home and think. I just…I thought we trusted each other, Nathanial,” I cried not touching my tears, but this time just letting them fall.   
“I was wrong,” I whispered not giving him the chance to say anything in response before I was walking out the door. I ran out of there as fast as I could. I could hear him yelling after me, but I didn’t look back. I couldn’t because I just was so overwhelmed in that moment. Everything was falling apart.   
Before I knew it, I was still crying from the safety of a cab and driving through the streets to our home I blinked. I found myself in front of our building and I couldn’t help, but wonder if it was still our building; if it was still our home. I meant what I said, I didn’t know if I could be with him if he didn’t trust me, but that didn’t dissolve the sure fact that I needed him. That was my thought as I entered our apartment.   
“He can sleep on the couch tonight,” I whispered laying a pillow and blanket there for him to find before locking myself in our bedroom determined not to come out. I didn’t want to see him, not yet, I needed to figure out what I was doing. Was I leaving? Was I staying? The answer wouldn’t come and I didn’t know if I wanted it to or not. I needed Nathanial and despite this happening that didn’t change. If I did leave him I didn’t know what I would do. He owned everything, his name was on everything, and if I did leave I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know where I would go. If I left my life would basically be down the drain, my bakery, my married, hell, if I got Eddie fired probably no Eddie either. And he was the only man I wanted; yet I couldn’t have him. Eddie thought I just wanted to be friends, if I told him different now it would ruin everything that, and he liked Miss. Kringle now. He wouldn’t take me back now. But that wasn’t our major issue, Eddie and I, because as much as I loved him I couldn’t trust him. I knew as he was now that he would never let anyone hurt me, but could he keep himself from hurting me? As much as I wanted to believe otherwise I didn’t think he could.   
Nathanial would never hurt me, I knew that, not while he was in his right mind, but Eddie I never could be sure. Eddie couldn’t protect me, not in every way that I needed him to, and with that that memory flashed through my mind, but I wouldn’t let it stay. I wasn’t ready to face it, to remember it; to remember my Eddie that way.   
“Eddie can’t protect me from himself,” I thought as I pushed that memory away. It had been so long ago, but as I thought of Eddie in that moment I could easily compare and contrast the two Eddie’s living in him. I could easily picture that other Eddie I had met so many years ago and how in the end it had been the reason for our end. For the first time in my life that night I had been afraid of Eddie, but as the memory came to haunt me again I pushed it away. I didn’t want to remember him that way or I might never go near him again. I couldn’t remember that because that was not my Eddie, my Eddie would never hurt me. Thoughts of Eddie, my Eddie, lingered on my mind, but soon thoughts of Nathanial overcame them.   
“What am I going to do?” I exclaimed letting my tears fall once more no matter what I did I was screwed. The time came for us to face each other sooner than I expected. After laying in our bed, I couldn’t sleep all I found myself doing was staring at the ceiling lost to my own thoughts. But then a single growl from my stomach broke my concentration. I didn’t really want to leave our room, but if I wanted to eat I knew I had no choice. So, with a creak I opened the door peeking out frowning when I didn’t see him asleep on the couch. I had barely entered the kitchen when he appeared in the doorway. Nothing was said between us, he simply sat down dressed in only his boxers, and turning his head he simply watched me. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him or even move. When he entered the room my hunger disappeared, but I still couldn’t move. The silence was chilling and just as I was finally turning to run back to our room he finally broke it and when he did his voice was somehow different.   
“Please don’t run away from me, baby,” whispered Nathanial the mere change in his voice making me stop. The silence returned then as I decided to hear him out or continue to run to my hiding place. I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t even sure if I could look at him yet.   
“Could we talk please?” whispered Nathanial this new tone of voice drawing me back making me finally look at him.   
“I’m listening,” I breathed letting him take my hands in his kissing them.   
“I’m sorry…I was wrong. I should have been more openminded and listened to you. You were right when you said I don’t trust you…I just…I don’t know if I can trust anyone anymore, so many people have lied to me over the years, but I want to trust you. I love you and I am sorry,” exclaimed Nathanial that soft side I had fallen in love with showing on his face. He was showing me a part of himself that I knew only I would ever see. It made me want to drop it all and just forgive him. But I couldn’t because then it would just happen again.   
“I can’t just forgive you and have everything go back to normal, Nathanial. We need to talk about this,” I whispered seeing immediately that he wanted it to be that easy even if it wasn’t.   
“Why did you freak out? There was no reason for it,” I said letting him pull him close until I was sitting in his lap.   
“I don’t really know…I just…I saw red for no reason. I saw you and Nygma and I thought for a second about losing you and I lost it. I’ve never had to share you before…I don’t want to,” said Nathanial drawing circles in the skin of my arm. He looked at me then begging me to understand and while part of me didn’t another part did not. Never in my life had I seen Nathanial act so childish; it was kind of cute. But I kept that to myself looking down at him with a frown.   
“This was bound to happen, baby, I wasn’t going to be friendless forever. I have a friend now and you’re going to have to learn to share. But still know that no matter what I am yours; I love you,” I whispered still not sure now I felt about how he was feeling, but I could see he didn’t really understand his own feelings either.   
He nodded in response his eyes finally meeting mine. I could tell he needed me to say something, but in that moment, I didn’t know what to say.   
“I do love you, Rosalie. I need you to know that,” whispered Nathanial bringing my hands to his face making me smile as he did so.   
“I do know that, baby. I love you too that’s why I was so mad when I thought you didn’t trust me. It broke my heart especially after spending two years of my life working to make you love and trust me,” I exclaimed feeling as he pulled me closer in response.   
“I need you to trust me and know that Edward Nygma is just my friend. He’s been my friend a long time we just lost touch,” I explained with a sigh before trying to continue.   
“A long time ago he was my only friend and now except for you that’s the way it is again,” I whispered knowing it to be the truth. Nathanial made me look at him and this time he didn’t look away. There was something said between us with just our eyes and I didn’t need to say it. All was forgiven that was clear when we leaned close at the same time sharing a gently kiss.   
“I’m sorry…I’ll never doubt you again. If you say Nygma is just a friend I believe you. I love you,” said Nathanial kissing me several more times. We drew away from each other after a moment and for the first time since this all had happened I gave him a real smile. It was a smile he covered with another kiss before wrapping his arms around me as I did the same. Everything seemed to be falling back into place.   
“I promise never to doubt you like this ever again, baby. I love you so, so much. With all I am,” whispered Nathanial stroking my cheek. He kissed me repeatedly. It all made me smile I loved when I got to see this side of him, but I couldn’t completely give him yet.   
“I know, I always have…I love you too,” I breathed pulling him for a deeper kiss then we had shared until now letting it linger for a moment before drawing back to peer into his eyes. I could see a certain curiosity in his eyes then and staring down at him I waited. He wanted to ask me something and giving him a nod I gave him the go ahead.   
“What were you and Nygma talking about anyway?” asked Nathanial.   
“I was giving him advice…on love actually or dating I guess. He likes someone, but she doesn’t like him. I told him to just show her what I see…a really smart, sweet guy who would do anything for her. I told him to show her what a great guy he really is because Eddie is. He is a really good person, but no one gives him a chance. He once said I’m the only one who ever did without him ever really having to try,” I whispered letting him see how much I truly cared for Eddie. Whether I loved him or not that would always be true. He was the most wonderful person I had ever met.   
Nathanial was silent for a long time as he just stared at me. For a moment, I thought maybe I had said too much, but then he kissed me again. It was a simple kiss and when he pulled away he gave me a smile. That smile was followed by a nod and looking down at him I couldn’t help thinking how lucky I was. For Nathanial Barnes was a good man.   
“He is a good guy…a little weird with the riddles sometimes, but I see what you see in him. For you, I’ll try to give him a chance, and I’ll even apologize for today,” whispered Nathanial helping me stand his hand still in mine. We walked hand in hand to our room and just as we hit the doorway he stopped me pulling me into his arms. Gently he kissed me deepening it at his leisure. And then suddenly he swept me off my feet carrying me over the threshold.   
“Baby,” I gasped into the kiss. He used that one word to deepen the kiss and as we got closer and closer to the bed I felt a moment of hesitation. I knew nonetheless that it would be just like all the times before and I wasn’t sure if after everything that just happened if I wanted that. When he laid me down across the bed I knew, I knew there was no stopping it.   
“I love you, so much Sweetheart,” whispered Nathanial kissing over the length of my neck as my own thoughts played in my head my eyes closing for I knew I would not be thinking of him as he made love to me. His hands may be the ones touching me, his lips might be the ones kissing me, but in my mind, I would replace them. Replace them with the same person I always had, my Eddie. Only when I thought of him instead could I bear to let another man touch me. In my mind, it would be my Eddie making love to me. Despite telling Nathanial I loved him I knew that was a lie or part of a lie. I didn’t love him the way he wanted. I could only love Eddie that way. I may hold some kind of love for Nathanial Barnes in my heart, but deep down he didn’t have my whole heart. My heart would only ever belong to one man. Edward Nygma. It may have been Nathanial’s body doing to actions, but in my mind Eddie did it all. He kissed me, he thrust so deep inside of me, and marked me as his. He held me, he whispered how much he loved me, and as I clung to him I forgot Nathanial. I only wanted to think of Eddie in that moment.   
It wasn’t until it was over that Eddie faded and I found myself with Nathanial again. Putting on my best smile, I laid my head on his chest feeling his arms tight around me, and for that small moment all was quiet. Though I knew it wouldn’t stay that way. With Nathanial, it never did.


	6. The Other Edward Nygma

Rosalie’s POV…

A few days later, I found myself back at the precinct walking arm in arm with the man I was going to marry. Everything had been good between us since our fight and now walking with him I knew now I just had to make everything okay with Eddie again. Nathanial needed to apologize or else I was afraid Eddie and I’s friendship would end as quickly as it had begun. His arms were around me, he loved me again, but despite that I wasn’t going to just forget about what happened days before.   
“I love you,” whispered Nathanial stopping me in that moment holding my gaze before bringing his face closer to mine he kissed me and I kissed him right back.   
“Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to have lunch with me,” I whispered smiling at him.   
“I would have lunch with you every day if I could unfortunately the criminals in this town make that impossible,” whispered Nathanial pulling me in for one last kiss.   
“Could you do one other thing for me? Please?” I whispered. Nathanial only looked at me in that moment waiting for me to continue.   
“Go apologize to Eddie. You scared the hell out of him. He probably thinks you’re going to fire him or something,” I exclaimed letting my hands drop to his shoulders my eyes pleading with him.   
“Sweetheart…I plan to talk to Nygma…just not now. I’m busy,” exclaimed Nathanial clearly not wanting to talk to Eddie at all.   
“Nathanial…Eddie is my friend, and I’m not going to take your word for it that you apologized to him. I am going to be there to watch it for myself. I don’t care if I have to stay here all day I will see you apologize to him,” I snapped crossing my arms over my chest openly glaring at him.   
“I can and I will wait all day, Nathanial,” I said sickly sweet so he’d know just how serious I was. Nathanial groaned as he stared at me in that moment obviously hoping I would yield. But I didn’t budge. I was going to stay there until he apologized and after a few minutes with another groan Nathanial was moving away from me out of sight. Smiling, I followed him right in the direction of Eddie’s office. Running ahead of him, I grabbed Nathanial’s hand pulling him along until we reached Eddie’s door. Right before I knocked I heard it. Eddie was in there talking to himself.   
When I heard the two voices whisper screaming at each other I felt myself go back in time for only a second. That part of him was still there and for the first time in years I found myself afraid to go anywhere near Eddie. Standing there frozen, I could feel Nathanial behind me then, and in that moment, I shook away that fear with a single thought. This was Eddie, I had to remember that my Eddie was part of that dark half, he had control of it, at least I hoped after all this time he did, and he wouldn’t allow that half to hurt me again. Smiling at Nathanial, I hoped that thought was true because I didn’t want to have to leave Eddie again; I wanted him to be a part of my life even if it wasn’t in the way I wanted him.   
“Eddie?” I called knocking on the door in that moment hearing silence as the voices disappeared before Eddie’s voice broke through telling us to come in. Despite knowing that this was my Eddie, I still felt a chill when I saw Eddie just standing there. He looked so innocent, but also different. There was something off about him and I knew it was because that dark half was there inside him. It didn’t escape my notice that when he saw Nathanial with me he stopped smiling openly frowning at the two of us. But after what had happened despite it all I didn’t blame him for that.   
“Rosalie…Captain Barnes…is everything alright?” said Eddie.   
“Fine, Ed, I just came to apologize for the other day. I shouldn’t have acted that way, I know now that you and Rosalie are just friends, that I overreacted. I hope we can move past it,” said Nathanial wrapping his arm around me as he finished.   
Eddie didn’t respond at first, that frown remained on his face, but then after a moment he smiled. It was a big goofy almost unsettling smile that even creeped me out a little. Part of me wondered in that moment if we were dealing with my Eddie or the psychopath living inside him. I hoped it was the man I loved not the one I feared. As these thoughts went through my mind, I found myself brought out of them when Eddie started to speak. The sound of Eddie’s voice made me breathe a sigh; the sound of his voice told me this was my Eddie and as strained as he sounded I was happy for that nonetheless. The man I loved would never let that part of himself hurt me, not again, and if he did I had Nathanial too. Nathanial would protect me if I knew nothing else I knew that.   
“I think we can, sir. I’m just glad everything is as it should be, that Rosie can continue to be my friend, and hopefully we can as well,” said Eddie smiling, though not like before, making me smile.   
“That’s fine, Ed. I hope we can continue as we always have too. Now, you know how busy I am though, so I’m gonna leave, but I’ll see you both later. See you at home, Rosalie,” said Nathanial his words strained, but I decided to let that go for now. I knew Nathanial and Eddie would probably never really be friends and though I knew it should have that didn’t bother me. Part of me wanted to keep Eddie all to myself since I couldn’t have him, really have him. So, when Nathanial left kissing my cheek as he did, I was glad, it was just Eddie and me even if I was still scared of that dark half deep inside him. But that was not as important when I looked closely at Eddie once Nathanial was out of the room. Eddie seemed to fall, not just his spirit, but his whole body. I knew instantly something was wrong and going to him I instantly started to sooth him. I hated to see him like that.   
I went to him immediately remembering that voice I had heard before entering the room. I couldn’t let myself forget that that darker half was still inside him.   
“Eddie? Are you alright…do you need me to get someone? Are you not feeling well?” I exclaimed placing my hands on his face. That darker half aside, I couldn’t stand to see him sick even if it was heart sick. I wanted him to be happy, as happy as I was even though we were not together.   
“Nothing,” said Eddie.   
“Don’t you lie to me, Edward Nygma. I am your friend, you are obviously not okay, and you can tell me about whatever it is. I am here for you, Eddie. I care about you,” I exclaimed making him look deeply into my eyes refusing to let him look away.   
He didn’t say anything at first, he only looked at me making me want to know what was going through his mind.   
“I…I’m trying to gain the courage to ask Ms. Kringle out on a date. I was going to ask her when I have to go to the file room later, but I’m afraid I’ll chicken out. I want to ask her out…but I’m afraid of what she’ll say,” said Eddie his voice quivering with his fear, but it wasn’t that that made my jaw drop and my heart beat with sadness. If he asked her out he wouldn’t be my Eddie anymore. He would be her Eddie, but as that thought entered my mind I thought of Nathanial. Eddie had to watch me with him every day, maybe my punishment for that was I would have to watch him with Ms. Kringle. It was that that made me smile at him pulling him in for a hug. In that moment, I didn’t know how to feel, I wanted him to be happy, but it hurt that it couldn’t be with me. For a second, a small second, I thought about telling him the truth, but that moment in the hall stopped me.   
That moment so long ago flashed in my mind as I hugged Eddie tightly trying to sooth his nerves even as I didn’t know what to do. I loved Eddie, but I didn’t love that dark half of his. That part of him had only proven that he would and could hurt me. That knowledge kept me from saying anything to Eddie. I couldn’t have it all. I couldn’t have Nathanial, a good man who would protect me against the world, and have Eddie. Eddie, the love of my life, the only love I’ve ever known; I couldn’t have him because he was dangerous and being with him could be the reason I get hurt. I had to protect myself that was why in this moment I had to let him go to be with Ms. Kringle. Eddie and I couldn’t be together. We were best apart, at least, it was best we were only friends. Just knowing that made me finally pull back to look at him, really look up into his eyes, and holding the smile on my face I touched his cheek. In that moment, I was letting him go, and despite it all it was breaking my heart.   
“I’m so happy for you, Eddie. I’m proud of you…you’re taking my advice, and you’re going to finally show her what a charmer you are. You shouldn’t be worried…she will say yes…she’ll never stop saying yes especially when she truly gets to see what I see. That you are the most amazing man in this whole city,” I whispered kissing his cheek as I held in my tears refusing to let him see one hint that they were there as I looked up at him.   
“I don’t think she will,” whispered Eddie making me frown. Eddie wouldn’t look at me in that moment and taking his face in my hands I made him look at me.   
“Eddie, what is it?” I whispered finally making him look right into my eyes. But Eddie just stared down into my eyes again his eyes saying something that I couldn’t quite decipher. Finally, he wrenched himself away from me scaring me for only a moment as he moved with a slump to his shoulders to sit at his desk. When I saw him sitting there like that that fear left me and I realized this was my Eddie not that other half. This was the same person who I had fallen in love with, who used to hold my hand everywhere we went together, and most importantly he still needed me. Staring into space at his desk, nothing was said, I stood there waiting to hear what he would say. I wanted to go to him, but I didn’t think he wanted me to yet. That was until he looked at me that was when I knew he needed me to take him into my arms to comfort him.  
“What if she says no? She thinks I’m weird, remember?” said Eddie his nerves and fear evident in his voice. I went to him in that moment pulling a chair right next to his and taking his hand, I hugged him. He needed me in that moment and even as he didn’t hug me back right away I didn’t care. He would I just needed to give him time. And then he did, that’s when I knew he was going to be okay. When he wrapped his arms around me hugging me as tightly as I held him.   
“Don’t think that way, she’s gonna say yes, Eddie. Just remember what I said, show her what a great guy you are. Tonight, is your chance to do that,” I whispered finally making him look at me. At first, he only stared as if processing what I said, but then that smile returned.   
“I think I can do that. After all, I charmed you once…I think I could do the same to her,” smiled Eddie making it impossible for me not to smile back still wanting to tell him that he still had me charmed, but holding back still. I hugged him one last time before kissing his cheek preparing to go.   
“I’ll see you tomorrow…I’ll stop by when I bring Nathanial lunch,” I whispered giving his hand a squeeze as I moved slowly toward the door.   
“I’ll be ready to tell you how it went,” whispered Eddie latching onto my fingers for a second as I looked back at him with a smile.   
“You better, I want to hear every little detail,” I said waving as I left the room. The drive home was silent, I found myself stuck in my thoughts, and all those thoughts were of Edward Nygma. I had let him go, encouraged him to give it a shot with Ms. Kringle, but I hated myself for it. I wanted him to be mine. I wanted to be with him, but it was impossible. Every time the possibility even entered my mind that moment with his darker half did too. It kept us apart because it scared me; the thought that that could happen again scared me. But as I held the tears in my steps fast as I walked up the stairs to my apartment I couldn’t deny what I wanted. I wanted Eddie. I loved Eddie and thinking of the man I was marrying I couldn’t deny that when I was walking down the aisle to him I would want Edward Nygma to be standing in his place. I wanted to be Mrs. Edward Nygma, not Mrs. Nathanial Barnes, but that could never be. As that thought exploded in my mind, I entered my apartment shutting the door leaning heavy against it as I cried. I had to let him be with Ms. Kringle because Eddie and I were no longer an option. Eddie was mine, I was his, but still every time I thought that his other half entered my mind.   
I had only met him once, but that had been enough. That dark half was evil, crazy, and it scared me that such a thing could be inside someone as sweet as my Eddie. But it was. That half was why we couldn’t be together and thinking of that I thought of the reason why. Of the moment when I met that dark half for the first and last time. Once again that nightmare started to play out behind my eyes, but this time I couldn’t stop it. It had been, so long ago, I could feel my nerves still as I walked to where Eddie lived. I didn’t know how he would react to what I had to tell him and climbing the stairs to his dorm room that was the first time I heard him talking to himself.   
He was doing that whisper screaming thing at himself, I knew it was Eddie only because the voice itself wasn’t changing only sounding darker at moments, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. In that moment, I can’t deny I didn’t care I was so nervous as I knocked on the door. Eddie opened the door clearly not expecting me. He looked frazzled and looking at him I immediately noticed that something was off. But again, I ignored that bursting into the room. I needed to tell him while I still had the courage building inside me.   
“Rosie…what are you doing here?” said Eddie closing the door. I had no reason to be afraid of Eddie then I had no reason for my guard to be up, in fact all my walls were down as I stood nervously in his room. Eddie approached me slowly clearly seeing those nerves as he held me close his arms around me and kissing my forehead then my lips I knew he was trying to make me look at him. But I couldn’t do it. Not while what I had to tell him was still roaming around in my head.   
Pulling away from the kiss, Eddie peered down into my eyes, and taking my face in his hands he held me closer.   
“Rosie…what is it? Whatever it is you can tell me. I love you…whatever it is we’ll handle it together,” said Eddie gently our foreheads touching as I looked at him still not sure how to say what I had to say. Time passed, I could tell Eddie was desperate to know what was happening, but I couldn’t say it, not yet. But Eddie didn’t push me. He let me take my time and I was grateful for that as I looked up at him the words on the tip of my tongue.   
“I love you too,” I whispered needing to say that before anything else, not afraid because I thought that Eddie would hurt me, but because looking at him I didn’t want to ruin his life.  
“Rosie…” began Eddie my answer interrupting him.   
“I’m pregnant,” I exclaimed waiting to see what he would say before daring to look at him. Only when I found myself standing alone did I dare look at him. That was when I met his darker half. Eddie backed away from me his face expressionless and staring right back at him I still waited for him to speak. I couldn’t imagine what was going through his mind. Eddie appeared to still be processing what I said, he wasn’t smiling, and then suddenly he was pacing. I had never seen Eddie this way. It alarmed me as I stood there watching him. He paced back and forth that dark voice coming out of his mouth that first time in front of me. It scared me to see Eddie this way and watching him I wondered if what I said did this to him. Could I have broken Eddie? I didn’t think so though, the way he was acting couldn’t just happen this way, that’s what I thought as I watched him, and beginning to shake I took a slow step towards him. Eddie was talking to himself. Talking about what to do with me, with the baby, and as those words came out of his mouth I felt a bit better about everything. Until his ideas about what to do weren’t so nice anymore. Until Eddie or the dark Eddie started talking about getting rid of us.   
The two Eddie’s were suddenly talking about killing me, about killing our baby, and as that conversation took place I found myself frozen not able to believe what I was hearing or who I was hearing it from. One Eddie appeared to be talking about killing me, saying it had to be done, but the other Eddie, my Eddie I think, he fought against it until suddenly it was like he was ruled out. Suddenly my Eddie was gone completely and I was left alone with just his darker half.   
“I am going to handle this if you won’t. A baby will ruin all our plans…it will ruin our life, and I can’t let that happen. I will get rid of the problem, Ed…you just sleep for now. I can’t have you getting in my way,” whispered the evil Edward his back turned away from me as he spoke to no one or the good Eddie or I don’t really know. I just know he was talking and it wasn’t to me. With wide eyes, I watched him then as he turned letting me see his face. He looked like my Eddie, but the second our eyes met I was afraid.   
“Eddie…what’s going on? I’m sorry if I upset you…I,” I began my words shaky. This man was not my Eddie, he was darker, scarier yet as he moved slowly my way I noticed he held a confidence I rarely saw in the Eddie I knew. I wasn’t sure how to feel as I watched him, he looked like my Eddie, but looking at him I knew he was going to hurt me. I found myself frozen in fear at that knowledge even as I thought that my Eddie would never hurt me.   
“You’ve been distracting us for far too long…and now you’re trying to ruin us. As much as we love you, Rosie, I can’t let that happen. It’s time for you to go away…to be a memory for us to look back on,” whispered the evil Edward stopping as he said that they loved me looking at me almost with a sadness in his eyes.   
“Eddie, please, I don’t understand,” I began.   
“You don’t have to understand. You just have to go away, Rosie. But don’t worry. I love you, Ed and I both love you, so I’ll kill you with as little pain as possible,” said the evil Edward stepping towards me again. I started crying in that moment which made him stop again. The dark half just stood there staring, he looked almost torn, and part of me knew he didn’t want to do this. Part of me thought I could talk him out of it.   
“Eddie,” I began.   
“I’m sorry, Rosie, this is how it has to be. Just be real quiet now,” said the evil Edward moving swiftly now. Suddenly he was right there. He was right in my face and staring at him with wide eyes I didn’t move. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know who this was, I just knew that this wasn’t my Eddie. I looked him in the eyes and I saw that immediately. Eddie would never hurt me and yet this thing was going to kill me. Eddie was the sweetest man I’d ever met, but looking into this thing’s pitch-black eyes I couldn’t say the same. This thing was a demon and he was living inside the man I loved. This was not my Eddie. This was a part of him I didn’t know and looking at that half I was glad. And then as I realized that Eddie was going to kill me I felt more tears stream down my face. If I survived this I knew one thing for sure, Eddie and I couldn’t be together anymore.   
“Goodbye, Rosie, I love you…I’m sorry it’s come to this,” whispered the evil Edward even as his hands went around my neck. Even as he was choking me I couldn’t believe it was happening. I just stared into his eyes at first hoping to suddenly see the Eddie I knew in them, but he never came. Eddie wasn’t there, he was gone, and he had left me alone with this monster inside himself. And that monster was going to kill me. As that thought entered my mind, my need to survive kicked in, and suddenly I was fighting back. I was fighting to stay alive. I tried to scream, but his hands around my throat stopped me. I started scratching at his hands, it was that that finally set me free when I pushed his glasses aside jabbing him in the eye that was when I ran for the door. Opening it, I ran down the hall not looking to see if he was following.   
When I finally decided to do that it was at the wrong moment. As I ran down the stairs, I glanced over my shoulder seeing Eddie behind me, but not seeing the step at my feet. Missing the step, I stumbled falling down the remainder of the stairs hitting the bottom hard. I blacked out after that waking up to find myself not just in the hospital with a sleeping Eddie by my side, but sadly no longer pregnant. I bled too heavily causing me to lose the baby. I found Eddie had no memory of what happened, he didn’t even remember me telling him I was pregnant. And with the memory of that other evil Edward in my head I found myself in my apartment again. My hands had found their way over my stomach and looking down at it I burst into tears. As scared as I had been, I would have liked having a child, especially if that child had been Edward Nygma’s. But that dark half of his had denied us that. That was why I couldn’t be with him, he had proven he couldn’t protect me from himself; how could he protect me from the rest of the world?


	7. A Date

Edward’s POV…

I found myself pacing my apartment, I was nervous; tonight, was my date with Ms. Kringle. I wasn’t even dressed yet when he started in on me. Riffling through my closet, I couldn’t decide what to wear when his voice came.   
“What would Rosalie like? Wouldn’t you rather be going on a date with her…she’s yours. You could have her…you could have them both,” breathed my other half his voice making me jump before turning I found him almost nose to nose with me. He stopped me and just reminding me of her made me stop closing my eyes.   
Rosalie was the girl that had been in the back of my mind since the day she left. I had loved her still even when she was gone, but seeing her again so suddenly had brought that love exploding to the surface. But she wasn’t mine anymore. Now she belonged to Captain Barnes, I had to love her from afar, and that had led to this. To me trying to make myself love Ms. Kringle; she would have to be the one I settled for because my Rosie was no longer on the market. Now she belonged to another man.   
“NO! You can have them both…the woman you love and your little toy. Be a man and claim what is yours,” snapped my other half making me close my eyes. I looked at him in that moment trying to understand what he was saying. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t because what Rosalie and I had had was over. We were friends now that’s what she wanted and sighing Edward knew he would just have to once again settle for that. But still I knew he was wrong. She was who I really wanted and thinking of her in that moment I smiled halfheartedly. I loved her, everything about her. The sound of her voice, the way she looked at me, everything. In that moment, all I wanted was to hear that voice, but instead all I heard was him instead repeating himself again and again thinking that would make me listen. Thinking that would make me do as he wanted.   
“Just leave it be, Rosalie isn’t mine anymore. I’ll just have to learn to live with that,” I whispered turning away from him to go through my clothes again part of me not wanting him to be wrong. As I picked out my clothes finally the question he asked helped me do it.   
I should have picked out what I wore with Ms. Kringle in mind. It was her I was trying to impress after all, but I didn’t. Instead, Rosalie was in my head helping me dress not for Ms. Kringle, but for her. The real woman that I loved. I wanted that to bother me, but it wouldn’t. I liked the thought of getting all dressed up for my one and only girl. Rosalie was the woman I wanted, but Ms. Kringle was the one I had. That night I dressed as if I would be seeing my Rosie. I wore black slacks just like Rosalie preferred. A crisp white dress shirt hearing her voice in my head as I dressed. I knew she would have said I looked like a gentleman. And I completed it all with a green sweater because green was my Rosie’s favorite color.   
“Be a man, Edward. Don’t go to Ms. Kringle tonight…go get her, Rosalie. Kill Barnes, tell her you still love her that you still want her, and claim her again,” exclaimed my other half his continued shouting not helping anything. All he was doing was making me mad, because what he was doing, what he was talking about was only making everything worse because I knew it was impossible. I was trying to move on and all he was doing was holding me back, I hated him for that as I balled my hands into fists, and rounded on him.   
“Just stop it. Shut up and stop telling me what I need to do because when it comes to Rosalie you know nothing. We’re over, we’re friends now, and if that’s all I can have of her I will take that. I won’t let you ruin that either. I’m not killing anyone anymore especially Captain Barnes, but not to spite you. I just want her to be happy and he makes her happy,” I screamed full on before storming past him grabbing my keys before walking with a slam right out the door. But he just followed me. He was in my mind, so I shouldn’t have expected him to go away, he never did. He sat in my backseat as I drove only silent for a moment though I knew the thought going through his mind because he made them my own. It drove me crazy, made me wonder if maybe I was, and that thought alone made me grip the wheel extra hard.   
“I don’t get you. You don’t want to get Rosalie back, you don’t want to kill Barnes or at least that’s what you say. You say you don’t want to kill again, but I know you enjoyed it the last time. Don’t you remember how you laughed? Do you really regret it or are you just denying who you are still,” exclaimed my other half his laughter echoing in the air as I tried to ignore him part of me knowing I couldn’t; in the end, he would break me.   
“No, he deserved what he got,” I exclaimed driving faster now.   
“TELL ME THEN! What the hell is holding you back,” screamed my other half making me pull off the road before turning I looked right at him.   
“Leave it alone. Rosalie is happy and that’s all I want for her. Even if it means it’s not with me. Barnes makes her happy, he takes care of her, and if he does that I will be happy for her. When you love someone like I love her that’s what you do. You make sacrifices for the ones you love; this is my sacrifice. All I want is to see her happy…stop trying to make me ruin that for her because then I’ll lose her altogether just like before,” I snapped the tears I had buried deep for so long slipping free. The truth was it pained me every day to see her knowing she was with him, it hurt just to have that knowledge, but what I said was true. Rosalie meant the world to me and so did her happiness. All I wanted for her, even when I had no idea where she was, was for her to be happy. With that thought, I turned back facing the wheel silently waiting for him to go back into my subconscious where I wanted him. I wouldn’t start driving again until he did. I would not start my relationship as ill-fated as it might be with him in my ear. Tonight, I would try to pretend he didn’t exist, and be the man Rosalie had loved. Maybe that would make Ms. Kringle love me too. For once, in that moment, he didn’t say anything which confused me at first, but starting the car, I just started to drive as he faded back into my mind. But then he said something I never thought I’d hear coming from him. It was so unlike him. It was so selfless and in that moment, I had a thought. Could it be he loved Rosalie too? Could it be he wanted her back just as much as I did? Those thoughts are what threw me off.   
“You’re right, Rosalie deserves to be happy. I want her to be happy, Edward, just like you do. But can you blame me if all I want is that happiness to be with us. Not that bull of a man. I want her to be happy, but with us,” said my other half fading away for the rest of the car ride.   
That question ran through my mind again. Could it be he loved her too? I didn’t want to think about that, it made me wonder if maybe we weren’t so different, and I couldn’t have that thought. Not then and especially not when I found myself outside Ms. Kringle’s house. Rosalie had to leave my mind than just for a little while, so I could try to real this other woman in.   
“You look ravishing, Ms. Kringle,” I complimented her as she stepped into my car not minutes later trying not to think of Rosalie as I pulled away from the curve looking at her and getting a shock. I looked at Ms. Kringle, but she wasn’t the one sitting there, it was Rosie. It made me stomp down on the brakes. When I looked again, it had changed back, and Ms. Kringle was there again clutching her chest. But still I was sure of what I saw. Ms. Kringle stared wide eyed at me and as I gathered myself I closed my eyes trying to keep that from happening again despite not really knowing how it had happened.   
“Is everything alright, Mr. Nygma? Do you want to go back because if you’ve changed your mind I understand,” said Ms. Kringle gently her breathing heavy as she smoothed her hair back into place before pulling her sweater tight around her? I took a moment then as I stared straight ahead at the wheel. I couldn’t answer her yet. But finally, I looked at her wanting to be sure she was really there and that I wouldn’t hallucinate again. When I was sure of that I gave her a gentle smile feeling a boost when she smiled back.  
“I’m terribly sorry, Ms. Kringle. I guess I’m just so nervous, I’ve been wanting to go out with you for so long, and after so many no’s I never thought it would happen. Now that it is I just can’t stop my nerves,” I whispered hoping that wouldn’t scare her off as I looked at her. Our eyes met and only when she smiled at me again did I feel assured beginning to drive once more.   
“I understand, Mr. Nygma, I’m a bit worried myself,” said Ms. Kringle finally easing my nerves some and looking at her we shared a smile part of me feeling relieved with it was still her sitting there. The longer the drive lasted, the more assured I felt, and looking at her I thought that maybe this could be my second chance. Though even as I thought that I still wished it was with my Rosie. But then I looked at Ms. Kringle again finding her watching me that smile still on her face. I liked that she could look at me now and have a smile on her face instead of that usually annoyed look she usually had.   
That was the last time I thought of Rosalie that night. I just focused on my date with Ms. Kringle and hoped that the sacrifice I was making would be worth it. When we got to the restaurant I ran to open her door taking her hand to help her out and intertwining our arms we walked inside. The evening went well after that. It was filled with laughter and smiles and again Rosalie nor my other half didn’t enter my mind. I just focused on the woman I was with and showing her a good time. And then she said something that truly made my sacrifice worth it.   
“My…Mr. Nygma, I must say, I’ve underestimated you. I’m having a wonderful time and I really wish I hadn’t taken so long to have this night with you,” whispered Ms. Kringle as we left the restaurant this time hand in hand. My other half stayed silent in that moment and I couldn’t have been happier in that moment. That silence lasted so long that for a moment I was stupid enough to believe he was gone for good. But then he towards the end of the night he returned. Just as I was taking Ms. Kringle home he began to reappear whispering nonsense at first into my mind. Thankfully, he didn’t fully reappear until she was safely in her house, and I was back inside my car. But by that time, she was no longer Ms. Kringle.  
As I walked her to the door, the unexpected happened. She kissed my cheek clutching my hand as she did so, and then I found myself looking into her eyes. And she looked right back. That lasted an unknown time until suddenly she just simply told me that I could now call her Kristen from now on. I smiled at that as I waited to see her safely into her home and when she was I walked backwards to my car. In that moment, I couldn’t help the goofy smile on my face. But the second I was in my car again I had a thought.   
“I wish it had been Rosie,” I thought my hands clenching at the wheel.   
“Stop it, she’s just your friend now. You can’t be so hung up on her,” I thought starting the car beginning to drive away when his voice sounded in my ear.   
“Do you ever wonder why she left?” said my other half truly not knowing the reason. That question stopped me. Rosie hadn’t told me since her return why she had left without a word. Suddenly that question wouldn’t leave my mind and Kristen was forgotten. All I could think of was Rosalie and wonder what had happened to us.


End file.
